Each minute that passes, I can’t help but think of how considerate this is. If I’m being honest, I would have chickened out at the last minute so the surprise—although terrifying—is definitely appreciated.
While we’re stuck at another red light, the music stops. I guess Carson forgot to queue another one. Might as well rip the band-aid off and say something. “About the whole ‘selfish’ thing last week—”
He cuts me off. “If you’re about to apologize, Diana, then don’t.”
“But it was a little rude of me.”
“You weren’t wrong,” he says. “It just took someone else aside of me to confirm it.” He leans back on the seat, practically sinking into it.
I should probably mention that throughout this whole ordeal, his hand never leaves my knee. He kept it there when we left the parking lot and now? That same left hand holds onto it tighter as if my bare knee is an anchor.
“If there’s something you should know about me, it’s that I would do anything to get people to like me. If they need a hand, I’d give them my whole arm. If your life was built on fear, then mine is built on destroying a person’s hatred towards me. Doing absolutely anything to help but never expect anything in return because that would make me ‘greedy.’” He adds air quotes. “I can rant about that all I want but we don’t have enough hours in the day for me to do so.”
The light turns green and I slowly press the gas pedal with my right foot, quickly glancing over to him. “In short, you’re a people pleaser?”
He nods. “I try to avoid conflict if it means things would be easier.”
“Must have made you popular,” I muse.
“It definitely made me tired.”
“Then why don’t you stop?” I ask, to which he scoffs.
“Oh,Just Diana. If only it were that easy.”
“But it is.” We approach another red light almost immediately. With that, I place all of my attention to him. “You can’t please everyone, Carson. There will always be disagreements around you. I know you try your best to settle those disputes but if you don’t take the time to figure out what you want—” I jab a finger at his chest with my free hand—“then you’ll end up being the one who suffers the most. At some point, you’ll have to do something foryourself. Not for others.”
Carson’s expression is unreadable. I can’t tell what he’s thinking. Could he be annoyed with what I just said? Is he still processing it? I don’t know.
But when he exhales, I realize that he might have needed to hear those words.
“I’m trying but it’s hard.”
My hand reaches his shoulder, rubbing it. “No one said it was easy.”
The light finally turns green and Carson points to the road. “Turn left here,” he instructs me.
After what feels like an eternity, he finally directs me to a parking space near the downtown area and a town called Marbella Beach. I turn on the engine and just like that, I feel a weight lift off my shoulders and Carson’s hand finally lifts from my knee.
“I just drove to Marbella Beach,” I mutter to myself. Holy shit, I did it! And made it in one piece.
“See?” He exits the car and just as I’m about to exit, Carson rounds the car and opens the door for me, holding out his hand. “I knew you could do it. We’re alive, I don’t feel too sick, and you faced your fear.”
Probably one of my biggest accomplishments yet. I grab his hand and close the door behind me. We make our way toward the beach, talking about the sights we saw during the drive over. How the giant spider on some random guy’s bald head terrified me.
We’re almost at the pier when someone’s beach ball splashes on the sand in front of us and I get sand inside my shoes. I remove my shoes and socks and just continue walking barefoot.
“Thanks again,” I tell Carson. “Today might just be a day to remember.”
“The day you saw that spider?” He gives me a wry smile, and I laugh. We drove by a bald guy with a spider on his head. It was a little scary.
“Oh definitely,” I agree, getting a laugh out of him. “You know what would be even better?”
He raises a brow, clearly curious at what I have to say. “What would?”
I raise my chin slightly. “A rematch for that race.”
The other brow flies up. “You sure you want to lose again?”
