A hundred diseases flood my mind as I stare at Abby’s mouth, waiting for her to voice one of them and tell me just how bad that needle stick was.
“I’m sorry,” Abby says with a comforting, practiced smile that likely works on patients, but I see right through it.
She’s being clinical.
Distancing herself.
There’s no real warmth in her expression because to her, I’m just another patient in a long line of them ready to receive whatever bad news she has to give me.
“How bad is it?” I ask, fighting to keep my voice steady. “You have my results here?”
“I do.” She swivels back to her computer and opens a few windows, then falls silent as she reads text that’s far too small for me to glimpse from where I’m sitting.
“I’m ready. Whatever it is… I’m ready.”
I’m not.
Not even in the slightest.
Tremors worm their way through my arms and legs as if I’m about to shake apart at my joints, and no amount of tensing my muscles stops me from shaking.
Abby turns back to me and smiles a smile I’ve given to a thousand patients over the years.
Oh, no.
“Noelle, the patient who was injected with that needle before it entered you was clean. He had no diseases or infections that were a risk to either one of you. His blood was clean. And your tests have all come back negative. You’re completely clear. We tested for everything, from HIV to…”
Her lips are moving, but whatever else she’s saying fades as a roaring fills my ears and drowns her out.
I’m completely clear.
I’mfine.
Not sick. Not infected.
I’m completely okay.
My heart starts pounding as a rush of relief overwhelms me so suddenly that hot tears flood my eyes and a shuddering gasp escapes me.
Abby pauses, her brows lifting in alarm. “Noelle, are you alright?”
I nod, my thoughts racing. I’m fine. I’m not sick.
I’m not sick!
All those days of dreaming and fearing the worst, of crying into my pillow because I was sure my life was over from a silly mistake, and it was for nothing.
I’m okay.
“I’d like you to get tested again in a month just in case,” Abby continues. “It’s merely protocol, so I’d like you to come back in thirty days for a follow-up. There’s also—Noelle?”
I’m on my feet in an instant. “Thank you, thank you so much!” I clutch at her hand and squeeze. “Oh, my God, this is amazing, thank you!”
“Noelle, wait?—”
“Thank you! Thank you!” Despite her attempts to talk to me, I rush from her office with the door flying behind me.
“Noelle!”
