The sensible side of me wants to reply like a friend and reassure her that I care for her with no expectations and that I’m just looking to provide her sanctuary after a terrible day.
But a stronger, louder part of me yearns to give in and answer her more honestly.
It’s hardly the right time to admit my interest in her when this could be a passing crush and she’s having such a terrible time.
Then again, maybe I can be a good thing for her.
“If I had the opportunity,” I say softly, holding her gaze, “I would do everything and anything to make you smile as often as I could.”
Her brows lift slightly and her lips part, staring at me as if my words are everything she’s ever wanted to hear.
My heart ticks up a beat as she then starts to smile, pauses, and then smiles widely in that hesitant, adorable way I like so much.
Suddenly, she leans forward and closes the gap between us, and every instinct I have screams in my mind to lean in and catch her lips in the kiss she’s asking for, but sense overrules any desire I have, and I jerk back away from her while placing a hand on her shoulder to keep her back.
Snow hangs in the air, one hand placed on the counter to support herself, and then her cheeks redden as if she’s just been slapped. “I?—”
“Snow—”
“No, sorry. Of course. You didn’t mean that. Why would you? It’s just a game, right?” Anger flits into her eyes and she slumps back into her seat. “What was I thinking?”
“No, Snow, that’s not what?—”
“Don’t. No need to explain. Stupid of me to think you would be different. Must be a guy thing, huh? I find the slightest bit of interest and it’s always in someone who blows hot and cold at the drop of a hat. I should go.”
As she abruptly stands, I catch her wrist and pull her back. “Snow! Please, you’ve got this all wrong. We can’t kiss because we don’t know if you’re healthy. Any kind of fluid transfer of any kind could put both of us at risk until your results come back. Believe me, if I could kiss you, I would.”
“Really?” She looks at me with such sadness in her eyes that my heart breaks.
I can’t decide if she’s asking because she doesn’t believe I mean it or because she doesn’t believe she deserves it.
“Really. I brought you coffee because I didn’t want you to have a bad day and when you smiled at me, I wanted to see it again. You brought me dinner and I wanted you to stay so I could listen to you talk. When we walked in the rain together, I wanted that walk to go on forever, but I thought you and Caleb were together, so I just wanted to be your friend.”
Each word makes her expression softer and softer until she slowly sinks back down in her seat.
I release her wrist and she lifts her palm to her chest. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s no apology needed.”
“I thought… I’m used to hot and cold, y’know? Flirting one second and then coldness the next, and I didn’t want that again, so I thought you were saying those nice things just to appear one way and then…”
Her cheeks puff out as she sighs. “I’m sorry. I’m a mess. Caleb completely cleared me out, my car's gone, my rent is too expensive, and now my health… I feel like my life is crumbling and this is supposed to be the happiest time of the year, right? I’m more than a mess.”
“A completely understandable one,” I reply with a smile. “But I mean it. If you weren’t in such a precarious position, then I would kiss you until you couldn’t breathe.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” Snow replies.
We return to our meal and eat slowly until Snow’s eyelids start to droop, then I take her hand and lead her to bed.
Everything she’s poured out to me tonight feels like the tip of the iceberg, as if she’s still trying to be strong and save face.
Admitting my crush wasn’t in my plan, but she’s more receptive to it than I anticipated.
Apparently, I missed the signs that she was interested in me.
Of course, it could just be because I’m taking care of her.
In the spare room, she sinks onto the bed with a soft sigh. “I don’t know how to repay you for all of this.”
