The fucker removed my door handle?
Approaching the door, I cautiously slip my finger into the small hole left behind by the absent handle and try to pull at the door, but I can’t get enough of a grip from such a small hole.
After attempting to put my half of the handle back in the door and failing each time, I return to my bed, miserable.
How did my life end up like this?
I should have given up on my studies and gone with my parents while they followed the tour of one of their favorite bands.
Maybe then I also would have fallen in love with Spain and moved there with them.
Instead, I’m here.
Hollow.
As I crawl under my covers and lament my predicament, Xander pops into my mind.
He was so kind without a single thought, and it was such a simple gesture to walk me home.
Such a quiet man who gives off a rather cold, grumpy aura and yet twice within the last two days, he’s given me a smile that feels like it means something.
Maybe he really was just being kind and Caleb is right. I’m looking into things because a single affectionate gesture makes me feel wanted.
But in the end, I’m this.
Alone in bed, locked in my room with Caleb gone and no one to call.
Anger melts into pain and the tears come.
I muffle them in the pillow for as long as I can and end up falling asleep.
Dark, turbulent dreams gradually give way to a warm dream of Xander with his strong, muscular arm in my hands but rather than a coat between us, his arm is bare.
He speaks, but I can’t decipher his words.
His skin is hot to the touch and as I work my hands up to his shoulder, his other hand curls fingers under my chin and lifts my attention to his sexy, dark eyes.
They’re an inviting abyss and then he smiles, leaning close.
I wake abruptly, overheating under my blanket with my heart pounding painfully.
It’s morning.
Sunlight streams in through my open curtains, and my alarm bleeps loudly, alerting me to a brand-new day.
The chair is still in front of the door, undisturbed.
I sigh in relief.
At least Caleb never came near me.
Distantly, the sound of the shower running brings fresh dread. The water bill is going to be insane, never mind the heating.
“Fuck.”
Unable to get my door open, I’m forced to dress quickly and climb out of my bedroom window into a world white with frost and icy winds.
It’s not the first time I’ve escaped the apartment this way, but it’s going to be the last.
