“I’m not one!” I meet her gaze steadily. “It was a consensual, safe relationship and the only reason we didn’t tell anyone is because we’re both private people and didn’t want to become the hospital’s gossip topic.”
A failed attempt, really, but telling her the truth hardly matters now.
Maybe a week ago, it wouldn’t have mattered because back then, I really was worth Xander’s career in his eyes.
Now?
I replay the heartbroken look on his face as he left my room for the last time and a hot band tightens around my chest.
I want to go home, curl up, and forget I even exist.
“One more thing, Miss Montoya. While your answers are understandable, I will need all of this written in your own words and signed. But you must understand that once you do that, there’s no going back.”
My brow twitches into a slight frown. “What do you mean?”
“If you plan tosuethe hospital for what happened in regard to harassment at work, your written confession?—”
“No!” I cut her off with a loud yell. “I’m not going to sue anyone because nothing wrong happened! The only thing wrong that’s happened is that you’re depriving yourselves of an amazing surgeon. I’ll write what I need to and sign wherever, I don’t care. Just please let me go home!”
It works. She finally seems satisfied and the exhausting hours of questioning finally come to an end.
Did they do the same to Xander?
Did he answer the same as me?
Or did he let his hurt get the better of him?
June drives me home since the prospect of getting in a taxi is too terrifying, and she’s silent for most of the ride until we pull up outside my apartment.
“Thanks, June.”
“Snow?”
I pause, my hand on the door, and look at her. Worry tilts her expression and she chews nervously on her lower lip. “I’m fine,” I say. “Just tired.”
“It’s not that. I mean I’m glad you’re okay, but… you and Xander?”
My eyes close briefly. “If you’re going to judge me, please, I can’t take any more.”
“No, not at all!” Her hands tighten on the steering wheel. “It’s more that… you two were dating in secret. Did you ever worry about getting caught?”
“All the time.”
“And now that people know… are you in a lot of trouble?”
“Why are you asking me that?” I remove my hand from the door and inch carefully back into my seat. “Has Jen been gossiping?”
“Yes, but when does she not? No, I’m just… seeing this all play out is kind of scary, don’t you think? I mean, they tell us that interpersonal relationships are against the rules, but can you really be blamed for falling for someone that you spend so much time around? We spend more time at the hospital than we do in our own homes, and even then, dating prospects are the guy from the grocery store or the one delivering take-out food.”
“I can’t tell whether you’re trying to justify my actions or not,” I say with a tired smile. “I don’t even have a justification.”
“Aren’t you scared?” When she looks at me, there’s more worry flooding her eyes than I’d expect.
“Not really, no. I’m more… hurt. And annoyed. At myself. Bad choices led to this, but it’s not that I’m mad at the hospital. I’m sad that I ruined things with Xander because if we were still together, then this wouldn’t be so terrible.” Warmth stings behind my eyes while something knots in my throat, making it hard to swallow.
“Still together,” she repeats. “I understand.” June looks away out the window but the worry doesn’t leave her face.
Suddenly, something clicks in my mind. “You’re not really talking about Xander and me, are you?”
