“Phoebe!” Gemma cuts in. “Don’t be a bitch!”
“What? I’m just saying. He died, and now you’re dating and pregnant?”
“I don’t want to take dating advice from someone who can’t tell the difference between chilled and frozen,” I snap at Phoebe. “Sorry.”
Phoebe’s mouth drops open. “Okay, wow, you’re definitely pregnant because what thefuck.”
“You kind of deserved that,” Hannah murmurs, then she leans her elbows on the table closer to me. “Are you for real? You’re really pregnant right now?”
I nod slowly. “Mhm.”
“So, who are you seeing?” Her eyes sparkle, eager for gossip.
My heart starts to pound. “It’s… complicated.”
“How?” Hannah tilts her head.
“Ohmygod, is it someone from work?” Gemma leans forward too. “It is, isn’t it?”
“Is it?” Hannah gasps.
Again, I nod.
“Oh, that’s terrible.” Gemma laughs. “Don’t hospitals have a no-dating rule?”
“That’s obviously why it’s complicated,” Hannah says, elbowing Gemma. “Keep up.”
“So you got pregnant by someone you work with that you’re dating, maybe in secret, not long after Caleb dies?” Phoebe, still sour, words it so poorly, but painfully, she’s right.
Is that how everyone else will see it when I can no longer hide it? Is that how Xander will see it when he finds out I’m carrying another man’s baby?
“What if… it’s not his baby?” I ask cautiously.
You could knock Hannah over with a feather.
“Girl, how many people are yousleepingwith?” Gemma hisses. “Is this a cry for help? I always thought you were kind of a prude.”
“No, it’s not like that.”
“Ohmygod!” Hannah squeals and she clutches at both Gemma and Phoebe’s forearms so hard they both yelp. “Is it Caleb’s baby?”
Heat flushes through me from head to toe and before I can respond, Hannah squeals again.
“I’m right, aren’t I? Oh, my God!”
“That’s so messy.” Phoebe snorts. “You're dating someone from work while carrying your dead ex’s baby.”
“Shut up, Phoebe,” Gemma snaps, then she turns to me. “I mean she’s kind of right. This is so messy, holy shit. Does he know?”
I shake my head.
“Why haven’t you told him?” Hannah gasps. “This is kind of a huge fucking deal.”
“I… I don’t know. I like him a lot and I think he likes me, but he’s so busy and he’s kind of a big deal, and if people find out about us, he could lose his entire career. And he’s… he’s quiet and gentle but he’s been through so much that I can’t throw a baby at him.”
“So get rid of it,” Hannah says. “Problem solved.”
“I can’t,” I say. “I thought about it, but I can’t.”
