My heart breaks as that soft name washes over me, and my eyes close.
Xander’s arm slips around my shoulders, and he pulls me close until I’m buried in his chest with his tie clutched in my hand.
“This is the last hurdle. The cops will do their jobs, and even if it looks suspicious, given everything you’ve been going through, I’d say you are within your rights to get your money back. One last hurdle and Caleb will be out of your life forever, including his memory.”
That makes the tears come harder because Xander has no idea how wrong he is.
The baby inside me will be a permanent reminder and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Caleb will get the last laugh because what he’s left behind will destroy the good I finally have.
I shove it out of my mind, refusing to dwell on the baby or the impending end to my bliss with Xander.
“You’re okay,” Xander soothes, rubbing my back slowly. “You’re going to be okay.”
“It’s not just this.” I sniffle, finally leaning up from his chest. “June was talking about Christmas and my trip to see my parents and it just sort of hit me that I won’t be able to do that for a long time now. And I miss them. I haven’t seen them in years, and when the cop was telling me that they could get some of my money back, I got this little hope that it would be enough.”
Xander’s hand slides up my back and settles on the side of my neck. “But?”
“But even if it is, nothing will be closed in time for me to get any money, and I don’t know when I’ll have enough savings to go and see them again. My apartment is bleeding me dry, I’m spending what little I have on transport until Insurance clears my car, and I’m just…” My head sags slightly into Xander’s comforting touch.
“Then let me pay for it.”
My heart stalls in my chest and our eyes meet. “What?”
“Let me pay for your ticket. You’ve been through enough, Snow, and if seeing your family is what you really want to do, then let me help you.”
“Xander… it’s too much. I can’t ask you to do something like that!”
His smile, as soft as ever, warms my heart like his soul is wrapping me up in a blanket. “You’re not asking. I’m offering because I care about you, Snow, and seeing you so distraught is breaking me a little. So let me help you.”
28
XANDER
Snow stands next to June by the elevator, gazing up at the numbers while the blinking light creeps closer and closer to our floor.
I stand behind her, mapping out the waves and kinks pressed into her hair from having it up all day.
Soothing her after her meeting with that police officer wasn’t enough to satisfy my craving to be near her.
Touching her, listening to her talk, breathing in her soft perfume mingled with clean soap, hearing those bubbles in her words as she tries to contain her laughter while talking to June… it’s not enough.
Maybe it’s never going to be enough.
Is that what love is?
A constant, undying desire for more and more? This is different from what I had with Claire.
Claire was a childhood crush turned lover, a high school sweetheart, so everything was easy and familiar.
Snow’s different.
It’s like holding my hand over an open flame for short periods of time and then craving that scorching touch every time I pull my hand away.
The elevator arrives and we all step inside.
No words pass between us, but there’s a subtle twitch of her eyebrows when she catches my eye for a second.
