“I think you’re confident, which I find sexy,” he began, his gaze sincere as he looked into my eyes. “I want to know you better because you seem passionate, but most of all, you seem to have a good heart.”
His palm rested against my chest, and I quickly took it in my own, not allowing him a moment to feel the absence of a heartbeat. Instead, I placed a tender kiss on his palm.
“Why do you like me?” he asked, his hand moving to cup my cheek.
“Who says I like you?” I teased, a playful smile dancing on my lips as I leaned into his warm touch.
“Okay, why are you attracted to me then?”
“You’re cute, you seem honest and loyal—”
“You’re just describing a puppy,” Connor laughed. “You also didn’t addfunny, because I’m very funny.”
“Youthinkyou’re very funny,” I retorted with a smirk. “I haven’t decided yet if you’re funny.”
“I’m funny. You’ll see,” he insisted, flashing me his trademark smile. Despite the lighthearted exchange, a pang of guilt prickled at me. Using Connor for information felt wrong, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of deceit gnawing at my conscience.
We lay there for a moment, and then I felt an overwhelming urge to tell him the truth. “Connor, since you told me about Amber earlier, I feel like I need to tell you something.”
Connor sat up and turned to face me. I knew that I wanted him to trust me, and to do that I needed to be open and vulnerable.
Staring at him, I couldn’t help but feel a deep longing for connection. I craved it more than anything, but I couldn’t discern whether it was his humanity that drew me to him or the mission I had promised Vail. Perhaps it was something else entirely. Fear tugged at me as I struggled against the impulse to give in to my primal urges.
His hands moved to cradle my face, a hint of hesitation in his eyes, “Are you okay?” he asked.
I felt the vulnerability in his eyes piercing through me, urging me to open up. I took a deep breath and surrendered to the moment.
“I want to be honest with you,” I began, my voice steady but tinged with emotion. “I was married.”
As the words left my lips, it felt like a weight lifted off my chest. Vail knew this information, but no one else I’d been with before had heard it. It was a secret I had carried for a hundred years and finally sharing it felt liberating.
“What happened?”
“He died,” I whispered, my voice breaking as tears rolled down my cheeks. It felt as though I had reopened an old wound, one that I had tried to force shut but had never truly healed. It was like a scar that had been patched over but remained raw and tender beneath the surface.
“I’m sorry, Rose.” Connor pulled me closer to him. Tears rolled down my face, and I sat back up, wiping them away. I would not let myself become too vulnerable in front of him. He was a Slayer, and I was a Vampire, goddammit. I could not cry in front of him.
“I was young when I got married to him. We only had a short time together,” I admitted, my voice carrying the weight of bittersweet memories.
“Still, that’s horrible,” Connor said.
“Yeah. I was in denial about it for a long time after the fact,” I confessed, recalling my years of grappling with grief.
“Can I ask what happened?”
“He had a disease, and ultimately that’s what he died of.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry. I am as healthy as a horse, I won’t die on you,” Connor reassured me, his attempted humour breaking through the sombre atmosphere. Despite myself, his words brought a genuine smile to my face, and I chuckled.
“See, I told you I’m funny,” Connor remarked, kissing my knuckles.
“What’s your favourite thing?” Connor asked. A random question that seemed out of place after the information I’d just shared with him. “I know it sounds weird, but when I was little, and whenever I was sad, my mom would ask me about my favourite things and telling her would make me feel better.”
I smiled, thinking about my own mom. “I don’t think I have a favourite thing anymore.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Everyone has a favourite thing.”
“I think maybe I’m too busy,” I said. “Or Vail says that I’m bitter now.”
