“No, stop.” Connor ran his hands through his hair. “This was dumb and childish. Let’s just keep doing what we’re doing. I like it, and I shouldn’t have asked." He moved his arms to my thighs, pulling me closer to him. I kissed him to shut him up for a moment.
“Connor, I like you, but I don’t know how long I’m staying in town for, and we barely know each other.” I looked at him, and I could see the sadness spread across his face. “I also think you’re drunk. This doesn’t mean that I won’t eventually change my mind. I want to keep seeing you, but I won’t be the one to make you happy.”
If I were being honest with myself, I wanted to say yes. Part of me yearned to forget about the drug, Vail, the Vampires, and Slayers and find peace in the simplicity of a relationship with Connor. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
The old me might have said yes, enjoying a couple of months of fun before inevitably breaking Connor’s heart. But now things were different. I didn’t believe I had enough love left to give to someone else, not when I was still struggling to put together my own broken pieces.
Connor and I were supposed to be a fun fling, a way for me to gather information and to escape. But this was becoming too real, too permanent.
Connor gave me a small smile. “Thanks for being honest with me. Do you want to come up to my place?” He motioned outside. “Talk about this more?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” I replied, my voice tinged with regret. “But I still want to see you. I’ll be at your show on Saturday,” I assured him, leaning in to kiss him softly.
FORTY
December 21, 1891
It is with the deepest of condolences to share this sombre news. On the 22nd night of December,the world lost Mr. and Mrs. Draven and Rosalia Blackwell. As fate would have it, their journey took an unexpected turn on the trail leading to the coast during a fierce storm. When morning broke, their horse and carriage lay off course, and their bodies lay frozen in an eternal embrace. The coroner’s verdict is that they were most likely taken by surprise upon impact, and their last moments were spent in each other’s arms, their hearts filled with love.
Rosalia will finally be reunited with her mother and father, who met tragic ends before her. Despite the many trials and tribulations that life presented her, Rosalia’s journey ended surrounded by love and happiness, with the man who stood by her side and helped her through the darkest of times.
Rosalia finds herself unburdened and embarking on a journey to a realm beyond our understanding, where the storms of life can no longer reach her. It is a place where love endures and where she will forever reside in peace.
Last night, I wrote my own eulogy, and for the first time, I was truly honest with myself about my emotions.I was in love. In the past, I felt that I didn’t deserve to be. But I was wrong. I finally felt free from the confines of my previous life, free to start the journey of my new life.
My heart felt raw as I handed the letter to Imalda. I asked her to make sure Vail received it. Imalda agreed, and I hugged her, promising to be home soon. She knew what Draven and I planned to do, and she was happy for us.
Draven reassured me that we could continue living in the mansion, given that it was far enough from Elmcross that no one would visit us. He had lived there his whole life without getting many visitors, and those who did would come to the door, greeted by Imalda, who wasn’t a suspicious person.
Imalda helped us with our bags and waved goodbye as we entered the carriage. I knew that we would return soon, but something inside of me feared that it would never be the same.
We travelled for three hours down a bumpy dirt road along a mountainside. I did not know how Draven managed to sleep through the whole journey as I was grasping onto my seat at every unexpected turn. The curtains were pulled tight across the windows as the driver needed sunlight to see the path ahead, so I sat in the carriage in the dark, trying not to vomit.
Upon dusk, the carriage slowed and halted. I couldn’t get out fast enough, and my legs felt stiff as I stretched my limbs while looking at my surroundings. I noticed in the dim light that we arrived at a small cabin in the woods. The driver took our bags out of the carriage and left. I heard Draven ask him to return and bring us home in the spring once the roads were cleared.
“What is this place?” I asked Draven as he opened the front door for us. I walked in behind him. The cabin was surprisingly cozy despite its plain exterior. It had a quaintkitchen that made me smirk, knowing that Draven most likely never used it.
“This is where I would come whenever I needed to leave for a couple of days. I would hunt here and perform experiments with Dr. Montgomery. It would allow me some time to heal without the fear of you seeing me after the fact. Also, no one could hear me scream,” he said.
My hand went to his arm at the thought of him in pain, and my heart clenched. I had seen him in the sun for only a few minutes; I could only imagine the sort of torture he put himself through for the experiments. The idea of Draven facing that ordeal alone, with only the cruel Dr. Montgomery by his side, filled me with unease.
We lay in bed that night, tangled together in the sheets. Draven trailed kisses along my spine, and I turned to face him, but he pinned me, his hands on my wrists, and proceeded to kiss more along my back. We decided that tomorrow night would be when Draven turned me.
I wanted one last day in the sun.
“How does it work?” I asked him.
He halted kissing my back momentarily. “I am assuming you are asking about the transformation?”
“Yes,” I nodded. He flipped me around, so we were facing each other.
“I am surprised it took you this long to ask.”
“I feared that dwelling upon it too much might overwhelm me and lessen my desire to continue,” I admitted.
“Well,” he began, kissing my jaw, “I will bite you here.” His fangs came out, and he trailed them along my neck. He was gentle, but the soft points of them across my skin made my nipples peak. “I then drink your blood, and when yourheart almost stops, you will drink some of my blood,” he continued, putting his throat to my mouth, and I kissed it, “and then the transformation process will begin.”
“Will it hurt?”
