I grab my jacket.
“I’m going out.”
“All right.”
I leave the motel room and start walking with no real destination in mind. I just want to see how it feels to have Zeth inside me while I move through the world. I try to act normal, but I’m tenser than usual. My shoulders are tight and my movements are a little too controlled. But no one seems to notice. People barely glance at me as I pass.
The silence in my head is strange. I keep expecting Zeth to say something, but he doesn’t. He’s just there, a quiet presence humming underneath my skin. I’m processing the weirdness of it all, trying to adjust to the fact that I’m not alone in my own body anymore.
I find a small supermarket and go inside. The fluorescent lights are harsh overhead, and the aisles are narrow and cluttered. I grab a few things without really thinking about it: bread, peanut butter, some fruit.
“Do you want anything?”I think toward him.
“No.”
“You don’t eat or drink at all?”
“I don’t need human sustenance.”
I pause in the middle of the cereal aisle, frowning.
“Then what do you eat?”
There’s a beat of silence. Then:“You haven’t read the contract between the FBI and the MSA, have you?”
A chill runs up my spine. No, I didn’t read it. Why would I? I was sure it was fine and that the FBI had handled all the details. But now Zeth’s tone suggests I should have read it very carefully.
“We’ll talk about it back at the motel,”he says, and I can feel him sensing my distress.
I pay for the groceries, my hands moving on autopilot. Before I leave, I spot a display of cigarettes behind the counter. I haven’t smoked in ages. It’s a bad habit, one I kicked years ago, but right now I feel like I need a few puffs to calm my nerves. Plus, it works well with my undercover identity. A struggling ex-con chemist would probably smoke.
I buy a pack and step outside. The sun is setting, painting the sky in shades of orange and purple. I stand at the corner of the supermarket and light up, bringing the cigarette to my lips.
The first drag fills my lungs, and I feel Zeth recoil inside me. It’s like he’s rippling, pulling away from something unpleasant, his presence shuddering through my nervous system.
“Are you okay?”I think quickly.
“I’m fine.”His voice is tight.“I just don’t like the taste of nicotine.”
Oh. Of course, he can taste everything I taste.
I put out the cigarette, grinding it under my heel. I’m starting to realize the implications of that. I’ll have to ask him before I eat certain spicy foods, before I drink alcohol, maybe. These are things that should be a person’s individual choice, but now every choice I make affects him too. Even though he doesn’t eat normal food, he still experiences it through me.
I head back to the motel, the plastic bag of groceries swinging at my side.
Once inside, I throw the bag on the table and go straight to the bathroom. I need to see myself, need to confirm that I look normal even with a literal person inside me. I flip on the light and stare at my reflection.
I look the same. Red hair, blue eyes, the same face I’ve always had. There’s no visible sign that Zeth is in there with me. It’s crazy.
“I’ve never been so pretty in my life,”Zeth says.
I blink.“What do you mean?”
“When I’ve been with other hosts and looked in mirrors, I never saw something so exquisite.”
Heat floods my cheeks. I don’t know how to respond to that, so I snap instead.
“Get out. And tell me what you meant earlier about needing another form of sustenance.”
