She fumbles with her fingers. “It’s just that… what if this place doesn’t feel like the old one? Like what if I forget? What happens if I walk into this space, and I forget everything the walls at the old place reminded me of?”
I step in front of her and take her hands. “Then we help you remember,” I tell her. “That’s one more reason why you’re here. With your friends. So, you can call on anyone you need, at any time. I’ll drive Zeb’s ass here myself if you want him.”
She scoffs. “And you’ll be here?”
“Yeah.” I take her bag from her arm and huff it over my shoulder, then take her hand to lead her inside. “I can even stand at the end of the bed and watch you sleep if that’ll make you feel more at home.”
Bonnie snorts. “You know what? It might, actually. That’ll give me some normalcy.”
I grin back at her before hitting the elevator up button. “Done.”
The elevator doors open then, and we step inside. I have to use my card to get to her floor, and I hand Bonnie her own keycard when I pull it out.
“God, I wonder what Andi and Wren have done with decorating,” she says, and the nervousness in her voice is apparent. “Hopefully if Wren put plants in there, they’re ones I don’t have to do much with.”
“She likes plants?” I ask.
“She’s obsessed with plants. One of her long-term fixations,” Bonnie explains.
We reach her floor. The elevator doors open to a foyer that makes me immediately grin at how very Bonnie the room is. Purple walls, gold accents, classic artwork that looks like it’s been graffitied framed on the walls.
“Oh my god, I love those two,” Bonnie says, beaming.
I hold out my hand with her key, and as Bonnie takes it, she inhales a deep breath.
“New beginnings, right?” she says, peering back at me.
“Just another chapter,” I say with a shrug.
The moment she unlocks the door and twists the knob, a glitter and confetti cannon goes off.
Bonnie yelps and jumps back, though not before balloons begin falling from the ceiling. An absolute cackle leaves her as we both drown beneath all of the surprise party decorations.
And before we can catch our breath, the elevator opens up with the rest of her family.
I take a step back and settle into the kitchen as Zeb brings in a load of groceries, and as I put them away, all I can do is watch in awe as they give her the tour.
Myhappyrockstar.
Three weeks are a blur.
Three weeks of sneaking kisses from her between meetings, rehearsals, and recordings. Three weeks of coming home to Bonnie at night and not having to sit in the chair to watch her sleep, of holding her at night and talking to her about life, music, conspiracy theories, and whatever movie she has to have on to help her sleep. Three weeks of seeing her have both highs and devastating lows, and fucking loving that I get to be there to help her out of it while also knowing when to step back if she needs her friends over me.
My ego isn’t so fragile that I’d ever get upset about that. I’m not the only person in her life who’s seen her at the bottom. I’m not the person she’s looked to for comfort in the past. She has her friends, and I’m okay with being the one simply holding her hand if that’s what she needs.
I feel like the absolute luckiest person alive, not just for the fact that I get to kiss and touch Bonnie fucking Miller anytime I want, but also that I get to witness the absolute magical insanity that Young Decay is made of.
I’ve never seen a band work their asses off so hard and be so damn happy about it.
But that’s Young Decay.
I didn’t know life could feel this free or have this much joy. Every morning, I wake up feeling as if I’m no longer pretending. And every night when I go to sleep, Bonnie is in my arms. With so much going on, neither of us have had much time to think about that last phone call. It isn’t the only time Rad has called either. Still, we’ve let it ring instead of answering.
I’m done giving Rad the attention he thinks he deserves, and it might backfire like hell, but I’m ready for it. She’s ready for it. Together, with this little family, nothing can touch us. I’ll get her the revenge she craves, the revenge that’s rightfully hers. First, though, I’m focusing on her happiness. I’m focused on getting this band through each day, on getting her from sun up to sun down without thinking of a drink or becoming fearful that this won’t last.
And I’m convincing myself every single day that she actually wants to be with me.
She wants me, no matter what.
