“My preferred form of punishment is you as my stalker these last few weeks,” she admits, licking the spoon.
I tilt my head. “How do you mean?”
She shifts from leg to leg before crossing her feet under her. “I mean… In the dark. Not knowing when you might come or what you’ll do to me. Not being able to see your face. Feeling in control and completely vulnerable all at once. I’ve always been the person dominating in every casual one-night stand I’ve had. I used to chalk it up to me beingBonnie Miller, the rockstar. I had to show my groupies a good time, right?” She laughs at herself and shakes her head. “I was never able to let someone in the way I’m comfortable letting you in. Even with your mask, there was just something that…”
Her voice drifts like she’s collecting her thoughts, and she takes another lick of the batter on the spoon before she goes on.
“When you came back this time, I knew your intentions weren’t to hurt me. You’d seen me at my lowest, and while I didn’t know who you were, that meant something to me. At night, I was always on edge, and I realized I was craving that fear. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know your name or your face. Because of what we’d gone through, I felt safe when you touched me. I knew that if I asked you to stop, you would. You gave me that outlet to safely explore thrill and fear, and enjoy it the way I once had… Before they took it from me.”
I’m so glad three of them are dead.
“I crave fear and adrenaline,” she goes on, “and you gave me a safe place to explore that. You’re allowing me to truly begin to process what happened. And I don’t know if you realize how fucking much that means to someone like me. So, when I say my favorite punishment is you as my stalker, I mean...”
Her brows lift, and I screw back on the cap on my water.
“You want me to scare you?” I ask.
Her shoulders drop, a smile rising softly on her lips. “Please fucking terrify me,” she almost begs. “Any limit you think might be too much, double it. I want to know what I’m really scared of. I need to know where I draw the line because for the first time, I actually feel safe enough to find it.”
I step up to her, unable to swipe the smirk off my lips, and I take the bowl and spoon out of her hands to place beside her. My heart has skipped at least twice since she began talking, and I’m dying inside at her confession.
“Sounds like we need a safe word,” I say, placing my hands on her thighs.
“Can it be ridiculous?” she asks.
“Please,” I reply.
“Mushrooms.”
I snort despite myself. “Mushrooms?”
“Ihatemushrooms,” she tells me. “Zeb always eats them on any food we get while on tour.”
“They’re so good, though,” I argue.
She makes a gagging noise. “You and Zeb can fight over them if we go out together then.”
I snicker and lean in to place a quick kiss on her sugar-lined lips. “Mushrooms it is.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
BONNIE
“Hey, can she just come here?”Reed says the following morning over video chat. “This is kind of maddening.”
I chuckle and glance Gemma’s way. She’s standing with her arms over her chest on the other side of my kit while I chat with the guys about the album. My anxious feet come down on the double-bass pedals, and she steps around the kit so they can see her as she says, “You’re welcome to come here, but no. Bonnie is staying here for a couple of days.”
“I feel like you two just wanted a sexcapade—ow!”
Andi smacks her brother on the arm and rolls her eyes. “We just miss you, Bon,” she says.
Mads eyes Gemma, and the way he’s staring at her, it makes me wonder if…
Ha.
It wouldn’t surprise me if he knows about her being my stalker. He notices everything.
“Is there something we should be worried about?” Zeb asks. “Like why she’s on house arrest?”
