I snort, nearly choking on my food. “Really?”
“I don’t know how this works.”
“Clearly not like that,” I taunt.
“No? So, what? We sit and wait, or do you like, find him or something?”
“Find who? Asshole?” I ask, referring to Rad.
“Yeah, that one,” she replies. “He’s the last one, right?”
I chuckle at her innocence. “You don’t need to worry about him, rockstar. I’ll deal with that.”
“What if I want to help?” she asks.
I consider her request. The reaction she had when Trevor was lying on that floor swarms through me. Everything she said. The look on her face.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” I ask.
Bonnie toys with the napkin in her hand. “I don’t know,” she admits. “But Idoknow I want to look him in the eye when he admits what he did to me.”
A quiet sigh leaves me, my heart hurting for her. “Okay.”
Because I can protect her enough to give her that.
She eyes me. “Really? You’re not going to tell me that’s too dangerous, and I shouldn’t worry myself with it?”
I frown. “Bonnie, he attacked you. If you want to confront him, I’m not taking that away from you. I just ask that you don’t go rogue and try to face him on your own. Let me be there to help you.”
Her eyes soften. She sits up on her knees, and I open my arms as she crawls across the blanket and straddles my lap. She fits perfectly on my crossed legs, her fingers raking up and down my arms as we sit quietly for a beat.
“I want you to know that didn’t mean what I said last night. When you came into the room wearing the mask, and I shouted at you to leave,” she eventually says. “You never ruined my life. I ruined my own life.”
“We don’t have to talk about this now if you’re not ready,” I say.
“No, I need to get this out,” she goes on. “I ruined my life when I took comfort in things that made me forget it instead of asking for help. Because I couldn’t face the pain. I couldn’t admit that I was drowning. A finger in the hemorrhage was faster andeasier than stitches that would heal me. I should have been aware of my surroundings, and instead, I—”
“That was not your fault,” I interject. “Tell me, after all this time, youknowthose attacks were never your fault.”
Her gaze washes out to the ocean, and I feel like someone is twisting a knife in my chest.
“It felt like it,” she admits. “That was why I went to rehab the first time. I didn’t know if I was ready for help, but I thought… if I’d just been sober, maybe that wouldn’t have happened. Maybe I would have seen the roofie—”
“People like Rad don’t think twice because you’re drinking a soda,” I argue, my rage for her building. “They don’t care if it’s water in front of you. Those people… they’re the real villains of this world. The people who think everything around them is up for grabs, who don’t worry about the consequences because they’ve never had to worry that their future might be in jeopardy. The rest of us work our asses off only to be given a high-five while they’re handed the world on a platter because they spelled their names correctly. They do what feels good to them, fuck whatever pain it might cause someone else.Greedmakes the world go around, Bonnie. Greed—whether it’s money, sex, power... Someone else’s greed does not equal your mandated compliance. You weren’t targeted because you were drunk or because your skirt was too short. You were targeted for their pleasure, nothing else.”
I press my knuckle to her jaw and turn her head so that she’s looking at me. “Rad will regret ever targeting you,” I say. “And I won’t say that I’ll take my last breath doing it because I’m not going anywhere. Not now. Not ever again. Not after this.”
“Good because I was going to tell you not to even think about checking out on me,” she says.
Our lips meet in an unhurried manner, and she wraps her arms around my neck. I close my eyes and inhale her scent, the crashing waves…
I didn’t know how much I needed this until right now.
“Why me?” she asks.
I wasn’t prepared for this question.
Even if I thought it might come up, I’ve never been able to put my finger on a definitive reason.
