Stupid.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I pull at my hair and shake my head with every thought as I yank my mask off, rip the hairpiece off my head, and board the elevator in my building.
Why didn’t you tell her?
You should have told her.
You should have told her you were there, and you weren’t leaving.
You should have told her she wasn’t alone.
You should have taken your mask off and held her through it.
And instead, you ran away like a fucking coward.
I’m ready to punch something—or throw myself off a balcony.
God, I’m so fucking stupid.
I should never have gone over there with the mask on. I should have gone in and told her the truth. I shouldn’t have let her think I had abandoned her. She was so scared, her flashbacks so apparently vivid.
And I added to the entire fucked up mess.
Why didn’t I take my mask off and tell her she was okay?
I pull my phone out and tap over to her camera feed. I’ll be watching this for the next couple of hours until Reed gets there just to make sure she doesn’t do anything rash. I would have gone back in except I heard her calling Reed, and I knew at least she was doing that. At least she knew she had to have someone with her.
I had my phone ready to text her if she didn’t.
I would have found a way back in.
Still, I won’t do that if I’m not the person she wants to call.
I did this, after all.
And I’ll never earn her forgiveness.
I throw the keys onto the counter when I enter my apartment, then immediately head into my bedroom to watch the camera feed on the broad monitors.
But the moment I sit on the edge of my bed, motion catches my attention from the corner of the kitchen. I move my head a fraction, attempting to make out the dark figure.
I’d grab my gun or knife. Except, right now, maybe I deserve whatever beating this person has for me.
“I don’t have the strength for whatever fight you’re looking for,” I say, glancing toward them. “So, if you’re here to kill me, just get it over with. Sprinkle my ashes at her feet when you’re done.”
“Why her?”
The voice makes me squint. It isn’t the voice I expected.
Still, once I hear it, my entire body droops.
“Mads.”
Mads steps out of the corner and pulls his hoodie back, his mask down. “I told you we would talk,” he says.
“I thought you meant at the studio. In daylight, like normal people. I didn’t realize you would ambush me at my home. I wasgone for less than thirty minutes. When did you get in here, andhowdid you find out where I live?”
