He hesitates like he wants to say something, but nods instead.
I tap the doorway twice, look at her once more, then leave the trailer.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
GEMMA
“He’s gone,”Kade says, back inside his trailer at the table. “They cancelled today’s acts after a couple of bands said they didn’t feel safe performing. I think a lot of people are heading out.”
I hang my head, hands creased in my hips as my heart comes down from the exhilaration of the run I just went on. I pushed so hard that my thighs are burning more than usual, and it’s taking all of my willpower not to collapse onto this couch.
“I thought things looked like they were shutting down,” I mutter. “So what does that mean for them? Did Stella get their flights changed?”
“Actually they told us we can still use the site until tomorrow if we want another day to cool down,” Kade replies. “A few others weren’t able to get their flights overseas changed, so the venue is being nice about it since everything is already paid for.”
I nod. “Okay. They could use a day anyway.” I sigh heavily and sit on the couch, head hanging.
I’m so fucking exhausted.
My mind keeps alternating between events, each one sinking me further and further into a spiraling void—Mads telling me he knows, Rad calling me out, Lance’s sobs around the gun…
And Bonnie asking me to stay last night.
“Gem.”
It’s Liam’s voice this time that pulls me out. I lift my heavy head, the motion taking all of my effort, though I don’t look at him.
“Yeah?”
“You need to rest,” he says.
“Liam and I can look after things this morning,” Kade tells me. “You’ll be useless if you don’t get some sleep.”
I stare at a pen that’s fallen beneath the table, my hands steepled together in front of me. “Did you find out which band Rad was backstage with last night? How he got into this area?”
Kade doesn’t answer, and it prompts more emotion to rise to the surface, the failure of allowing her to get hurt stabbing me again and again in my stomach.
“Mads knows,” I say softly. “About… who I am.”
There’s another pause, and I don’t bother looking up.
I don’t need to see their faces to know how badly I’ve fucked up.
“Shit,” Kade eventually curses.
“He see us last night?” Liam asks.
I nod slowly. “You were right,” I say, looking up at him. “I should have kept my cool. I should have walked away.”
“Regrets don’t help the present,” Kade says. “Work with the now, not what you can’t fix. So what, he knows. Did he threaten you?”
“Worse,” I say, sighing. “He was nice about it. Acted like we had a kinship when it came to protecting the people we love. And then he gave me a warning and said we would talk after the festival.”
“That is worse,” Liam agrees.
I scoff and sit back in the seat. “It’s over. It’s all over. I’ll lose her the moment I tell her.”
“You don’t know that,” Kade says.
