I sigh as I tap the red button on my phone and pace around my disheveled bedroom. Gemma hasn’t answered any of my phone calls over the last hour, and something about that feels like a punch to the gut.
I tap her name once more, and this time, when it goes to voicemail, I actually leave a message.
“Hey, it’s me…again… Um. I… Fuck, I don’t know what I want, or why exactly I’m calling. I guess I just wanted to hear your voice. That sounds weird, doesn’t it?” I laugh nervously. “Okay. Um. Just call me, I guess? Or I’ll see you in the morning, too. Nothing is wrong. Don’t think that I’m calling because something is wrong because it isn’t. I just… I wanted to talk to you. Okay, I’m hanging up now before I keep rambling. Bye.”
I press the end button and brace my forehead against the wall, eyes shut tight. That sounded so fucking stupid and desperate. I need to get a grip. I can’t put myself out there like this. I’m coming on too strong. I might make her run, and for once, I don’t want her to go.
I take my shower and relax on the bed, eyes still wide as I stare at the ceiling. I should get over this. It’s just a stupid crush—one that will more than likely end in disaster.
Though, I’m hoping not.
That is, if I ever find the strength to say yes to her.
Yesterday, the fire wasn’t as horrible. It didn’t threaten me at every turn of her head, and maybe that’s enough to help me realize it’s okay.
Ugh. This is annoying.
My phone rings the moment I pick it up to doomscroll. My heart skips at the possibilities of who it could be. Still, the name that comes across the screen makes me squint.
“Kade?” I answer.
“Hey, Bonnie,” Kade replies. “Gemma said you’ve been calling her. She’s caught up with something with work. Are you okay?”
Now I really feel like someone hit me.
“Um… yeah,” I say. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just wanted to talk to her.”
“Oh. I’ll tell her. If you need me, call, okay?”
I want her.
“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”
I hang up and lie back again, eyes closing when my head hits the pillow. Shit. For Kade to call me, that message had to sound pitiful.
I don’t know how long I stay up watching ASMR packaging videos on my phone. At some point, my eyes droop.
I’m dreaming of the stage, of laughing with my friends and family. Gemma is there, and at some point, we sneak off. She pins my arms above me when she kisses me against the wall. I feel like I’m drowning in this mirage, like if I ever wake up, I’ll take something to pull me back under just so I can live this without having to worry about any consequences later.
Lips on my neck make me groan. Gemma… Fuck, I want her lips all over me. This feels so good—the sleepy haze mystifying and exaggerating each grab and kiss. I arch into her touch, compliant to her demands. Her fingers slip beneath my underwear and pull them off as her tongue traces the tattoos on my stomach, mouth moving along the vee of my pelvis.
An incomprehensible noise leaves me when her fingers part my labia, when her tongue flicks my clit.Right there.I roll my hips against her tongue, her tease. All I want to do is sink my fingers into her hair, except she still has them pinned above me.
The bed shifts as she moves up my stomach again, fingers replacing her tongue, and I shudder when I feel her bare pussy on my thigh. Oh my god, she’ssoaked. I want to touch her, want to taste the wetness taunting me right now.
“Please,” I hear myself beg, tongue sticking out.
“Already so eager for me, rockstar. Did you know I was coming?”
My eyes snap open.
Because that isn’t Gemma.
The room is dark, every light turned off—wait.
No, that’s a blindfold around my head.
I can feel someone moving atop me, hands on my exposed sides, pressure on my thighs. I try to move my feet, yet all I can do is bend my knees up as something pulls around my ankles when I try to lift them off the mattress. I tug my arms, yet they don’t move either.
