God, that sounded absurd.
I tapped the photo and let the picture fill my screen.
I looked so fucking happy.
My head sank onto the pillow behind me, and I pulled my blanket tighter.I didn’t know you took that, I texted him.
I look at it on my good and bad days, he said.Though most especially on the bad ones.
Why on your bad days?
To remind me how life is supposed to feel.
My chest warmed and tightened all at once. I stared at the words for a long minute, knowing he was right. I wasn’t sure what to say.
Three dots on the screen saved me from thinking of something.
I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.
My chest constricted at those words, and I swallowed the emotion bubbling on the surface, my thumbs hovering over the screen.
I know I’m too late, he continued.
Time stood still. The sound of my pounding heart pulsed in my ears. Heat spread from my neck and cheeks, and I finally found my voice.
You’re not.
I stared at my reply for what felt like forever, ears burning that I’d actually said it. Three dots appeared again, and I replied before he could.
Goodnight, Gavin.
I quickly tossed the phone face down onto the cushion like it was made of lava, and I tried to avert my attention to the tv show I’d left playing.
With every passing nanosecond, I glanced at the phone, expecting it to ding with some sort of reply.
I didn’t know what I wanted him to say. Did I want him to ask me to clarify what I meant? Would he ask? Had the last two texts even been sent out? Shit, why had I said that? Was I just feeling lonely? Why—
The phone vibrated, and my heartbeat skipped. I chewed on the inside of my mouth as I stared at it long enough that it buzzed again with the reminder alarm.
I snatched it up and read the message.
Hey, love.
Tyler.
A brief moment of disappointment washed through me, followed by gut-wrenching guilt as I looked at the next message from Tyler.
I hope you have a good night’s sleep, C. Maybe I’ll catch you tomorrow.
A long sigh left as reality hit me in the face. Gavin—Eros, Cupid, whoever he was—was a fantasy. A long-lost dream that I would likely cling to when I was middle-aged, and my friends and I spoke about past lovers.
Call me later when you can, I texted Tyler before slumping into the chair again.
I will. I love you, Tyler replied.
I didn’t text him back.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX - GAVIN
