“It’s a nice gesture.”
“And he’s never home.”
“He travels for work.”
“He thinks you want some house in the suburbs with the white picket fence and a litter of children.”
“Maybe one day, I will.”
“And most importantly—“
“I swear, Lana if you bring up sex—“
“—He doesn’t make you happy,” she finished. “But now that you’ve brought up your problems in the bedroom, why don’t we just add that to the list?”
I glared at her, unable to form words or coherent thoughts in retaliation. She waited for it, too, a smug smile slipping onto her lips the longer it took me to respond.
“I hate you,” I grunted.
Lana grinned outright. “Oh my god, do you know who I just realized Tyler is?” she asked, eyes widening.
“Who?”
“He’s like the guy you settle for after you’ve dated a serial killer,” Lana said.
If I’d been eating something, I would have choked. “What?”
“I mean, not literally,” she said. “That’s more than likely a super unhealthy relationship. Him lying to you, pretending to be a different person, probablygreatsex though—“
“What’s your point?” I interjected, the talk making me anxious.
Lana scoffed, her smile genuine this time. “What I mean is, Tyler is the safe, mediocre guy you settle for after you’ve had years of the most thrilling love of your life—after you’ve dated the guy who gave you butterflies, who turned your world upside down, who made you smile with one look, the one who pushed you to your edge and thrilled your adrenaline every day. The one who made you feel safe and desired, like the most important person in their life—“
“It wasone night,” I repeated for what felt like the thousandth time.
Of course, Lana ignored me.
“—Tyler is the opposite. Sure, he makes you feel loved, and you probably think you love him. There’s nothing truly wrong with him, but he’s not the person you would fight for.”
Every word from her lips made my heart fall further into oblivion.
“He’s not the person you expect to tear the world apart to get you back,” she continued. “For instance, if you were to get kidnapped, Tyler is the guy who will call the FBI and beg and plead and barter to get you back. He’s going to throw whatever money he has at it, and when he does get you back, he’ll probably put some sort of protection detail on you. He’ll say it’s all in your best interest, essentially having you locked down every minute—which is, of course, a terrible idea because then you’re going to fall for your bodyguard since most of us have that whole thing for the knight in shining armor and the forced proximity—“
“Lana,” I said, drawing her back on track.
“My point is," she circled back, "Tyler isn't the person who will barrel in himself and make you question whether he’s actually the hero because of the number of bodies he leaves behind trying to find you.”
The talk made my hair stand on end. I began to fidget, my ears burning. The scenario reminded me of one person, but I knew if she had been describing him, it would have been a much darker scene, one that would’ve had me in the starring role as the victim of the killer, strung up as a mindless shell. No family. No friends. No existence other than his sharp cage of endless manipulation.
I couldn’t go there. I wasn’t sure I could claw my way out again.
“Babe, he’s not Aidan,” Lana said then, her voice even as she talked about my ex-boyfriend.
“I’m not thinking about him—“
“I can see it on your face,” Lana cut me off. “Aidan was the pressure at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.”
“Yeah, and Tyler is the fucking kiddie pool,” I said as I dragged my fingers through my hair, pushing it back and to one side. “Maybe that’s why I’m hanging onto him.”
