“You are the person I want to sit down with at the end of the day and watch shit television with until we both fall asleep together on the couch. You're the person I want to wake up beside every morning and burn breakfast with because I can’t keep my hands off you. You’re the person I want to love and hold on my darkest days, the one I want to escape this world with on all the others.”
His hand moved from my face to my jaw, my throat, where his thumb began torturous circles on my pulse point. My knees weakened, chills erupting on every inch of my skin, and I resisted letting my eyes flutter at the soft touch.
“I want to kiss you whenever I want and make you scream my name in the darkest hours of the night,” he continued, his voice quieter. “I need to feel you, taste you, and punish you for making me feel this way.”
I grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt and jolted him forward. Our lips were inches apart, and he stared down at me as I said, “How will you punish me?”
“As slowly as you’ve tortured me,” he whispered.
I was shaking, my jaw dropping slightly, lips parting. My forearms were on his chest, our hips lined up, his other hand grasping at the small of my back.
“Tied up?” I asked.
“Hands and feet,” he said as his gaze traveled over my face. “Blindfolded. Laid across my lap, then on your knees over my face. I’ll watch your ass turn the most beautiful shade of red, and you’ll come on my tongue as I taste just how wet my hand striking across your ass made you—”
I was glad of his grip on my waist because my knees weakened at the vision of being tied up and straddling his face. The memory of his tongue between my thighs and savoring my pussy pulsed through me. My heart was racing, and I was sure he could feel it pounding beneath his thumb on my throat.
“—All until you remember how to be my good girl again,” he finished, eyes meeting mine again. “Would you like that?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
The corner of his lips quirked upward, and he nudged my nose with his. “That’s my girl,” he breathed.
I drew a jagged breath, our parted lips so close that I could practically taste him. His forehead met mine, eyes closing as he inhaled the air around us. I began to shake again, that fear rising up within me. Talking about leaving, his telling me he loved me, all of it combined into something that I couldn’t resist.
I had to tell him.
“Do you know why it terrifies me so much to love you?” I whispered.
“Why?”
“Because you remind me of him,” I admitted.
“Of who?”
“Aidan,” I answered. “My ex.”
Gavin released me, his eyes blown and bewildered. “What… What do you mean? Chloe, I’m not like that. I’m not—“
“I don’t mean what he did to me,” I managed. “I mean, how consuming you are. How, when you’re in my life, I count the minutes until I’ll see you again. The way you make me feel… I told you once that I thought I would lose myself again just to have you,” I said, swallowing as I peered up at him. “I don’t want to do that. Ican’tdo that.”
“You don’t have to,” he swore. “You never have to be anyone other than yourself. You and all your perfections and all your flaws. I don’t want you to ever lose sight of who you are. You never have to hide any part of yourself from me. I want you—allof you. Everything that you’ll give me.”
“I lost myself with him,” I said, ignoring what he’d sworn. “I withdrew from family, friends, and work. I gave him everything. I changed myself so much, I… God, this sounds so stupid,” I said, burying my face in my hands. “Isound so stupid.”
Gavin took my hands off my face and held my wrists. “You don’t,” he said softly. “You’re not stupid. And you don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”
“No, I want to,” I said as I tried to push the pain of that shame away. “I want to because I want you to know why what’s happening between us makes me want to keep pretending that it’s nothing more than one night. Ineedyou to know.”
He swallowed, agony in his eyes as he examined me. “Okay,” he whispered. “What can I do?”
“Hear me,” I breathed.
“I do,” he promised.
I believed him.
I tucked my hair behind my ear, bile rising in my throat. I was mortified at what I was about to do, but he deserved to hear it. He deserved the truth.
