"It is not the time," he growled, suddenly standing over her.
"If you think—“
"This isn't something you do on a whim," he argued. "And it's not something you can do on your own."
Your king and queen are safe, the Sun had said.
"But I could save them—“
"Save them?" he repeated incredulously. "All right. Fine, Princess. Tell me you would sacrifice your brother to bring them back."
She froze.
"What?"
"You would have to sacrifice someone you truly love in this world to complete the ritual," he continued. "Not yourself. So tell me you could send him into oblivion to bring them back."
Her world stopped.
She wanted to say she could.
She wanted to tell him she would give anything to bring them back.
She wanted to demand him take her to see the scrolls.
But her heart wrenched at the thought of being alive without Dorian, the idea of her sacrificing him, and she nearly choked.
"That’s really not fair," she breathed.
"Like I said,” Nadir sighed. “Safety precautions."
"Who placed this part of the curse?" she demanded to know. "What sort of—“
"Your Sun," Nadir interjected. "The Sun made a deal with Haerland. That she would go quietly into imprisonment so long as Haerland would allow her children to rise again with her and the Red Moons. But not all of them. Only those who proved their worth, who sacrificed themselves for the land. Only those would be worthy of the phoenix fate."
A heavy huff left her, and she cursed everything in her life. "I hate this place sometimes."
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
NYSSA HAD AWOKEN before the sunrise, hardly able to sleep after all she'd learned, and she'd gone out to the end of the jetty to simply sit. She couldn't stop thinking about what it would mean for her sister to be alive, for Draven to be back...
But every time she thought about sacrificing anyone she loved, she had to force breath into her lungs to keep herself steady.
Lex had pushed her that morning on her horse, insistent that Nyssa practice with her bow. Nyssa couldn’t concentrate. She missed three targets and finally pressed her bow into Lex's hands after the sun rose high in the sky, feeling completely defeated. Lex hadn't said anything in response to her failure, but then again, Nyssa hadn't exactly given her a chance to. She'd curled herself up on the porch the afternoon with one of the books in the hopes she could escape her mind.
She wondered what Dorian was doing, whether he was having more success than her with whatever it was he'd been tasked with.
By the time the sun went down, Nyssa had taken another walk down the beach and then cradled herself on the end of the jetty again. She was trying to calm her mind with the beach waves and feel normal.
In all honesty, she missed her family.
The comfort of the castle walls. Nyssa certainly appreciated everything that was being done for her there, how Nadir was making her feel, how patient Lex was being... But she couldn't help missing that familiar reality. She wanted to see her sister's smile, hear Dorian bantering and poking fun at her...
Her eagle had sat on her knee as she stayed there. She was trying to reach back out to the creatures now that the Noctuans were once more asleep. But there was nothing in response, and her eagle simply gave her a comforting nip and purr when she would stroke his neck.
Nadir didn't make it back before she retired to the bedroom. Her body was pent up with all the anxiety and knowledge she’d forced into the depths of her core the last few days.
She just wanted to go to sleep.
