Nyssa's heart dropped. Nadir fell back into the chair. She didn't even realize she was moving until she was standing in front of it.
Power at her fingertips. True power. The ability to free Haerland and bring Aydra and Draven back.
It was there. Right in front of her.
The only way to undo all the curses of Haerland.
To bring forth the Red Moons.
"Hagen told me what it does," Dorian said firmly, arms crossing over his chest. "Tell me why we shouldn't be using it. Why shouldn't we perform it?"
"Did he also tell you what you would have to give up?" Nadir managed, head lifting.
"None of us are sacrificing anyone in this room," Nyssa blurted. "Everyone we all care about—save for Aydra and Draven—is right here. I am not losing anyone else, especially by my own hand."
She waited on any of the others to talk, but they didn't. And when she spoke again, her voice began to crack.
"I want to bring Aydra and Draven back... I really do... And I want the curses undone, the Noctuans free. But, I cannot bring myself to put this world over any of you. And I amsorryfor that." She choked on the words, tears breaking on her face. She met Nadir's eyes, and he gave her a silent nod. A small reassurance that that was the correct answer.
"I hate when you're right," Dorian mumbled.
She met his eyes, and her jaw quivered. "I hate when I'm right too."
"Fucking curses," Bala breathed. "So what do we do?"
"Are there more Infi?" Nyssa asked, and her eyes landed on Gail.
Gail dropped the cloth from his mouth. "How should I know?" he asked.
"You had them in your company," Nyssa argued. "How would you not know?"
"Perhaps you'd be better asking your brother what he found in the mountains," Gail said.
All eyes turned to Dorian, who was rubbing his neck nervously.
Nadir slowly rose to his feet. Dorian exchanged a look with Reverie and Corbin, who both shared a concerned gaze Nyssa didn't like.
"Dorian..."
"There were hundreds of them," Dorian sighed. Reverie and Corbin both touched him, shoulder and hand. Nyssa tried not to smile at such an inappropriate time, but it made her heart hurt at the sight of both the people her brother was so confused about trying to comfort him.
Dorian explained what they'd found. He explained how he'd tried to burn them and how he could only burn the one whose heart had been taken out and not the one still intact. And when he told them about the deal he'd made, the entire room froze.
"You took a crown from the Infi?" Bala managed.
"How do you think I got this scar?" he asked, and the cut seemed to vibrate as he asked it. "They held to me, knelt beneath my fire—“
"And they're going to betray you," Bala cut in. “How could you be so stupid, Dorian?”
"You were not there," Dorian snapped, voice rising. "You were at home. You were not forced to flee your home because of lies and treachery. You did not watch your family burn. Do you know we saw him when he jumped?"
Nyssa's heart pounded at the way he spoke, at his challenging her. She knew he had reached his limit of people questioning him. Reached his limit of people second guessing every decision he'd had to make in the last few months. Decisions that had ripped his entire being into shreds and been fed to the Rhamocour.
Decisions he was still coming to terms with and would haunt him until his death.
"Dorian—“
But he wasn't listening.
