The word hung in the air.
He liked saying it. He liked saying her name and home in the same sentence, almost like he was willing it into existence. It made her chest swell any time he would, her stomach knot at the confirmation of it.
She pushed her own hand to his cheek, and she nodded. His lips pressed once more to hers, both as a final kiss and breath of life.
He turned, allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck from behind, her legs around his hips, her chest flush against his back. His long fingers grasped her beneath her thighs before he said, “Hang tight, Princess,” and then he throttled them through the depths.
CHAPTER SIXTY-FIVE
NYSSA HARDLY WENT to sleep. Even with Nadir curled around her— his arm threaded through the space between her shoulder and neck, other wrapped around her waist— something felt heavy on her chest, and she couldn't figure out what it was. Almost an anxiety of needing to push herself. A hunger for determination. Perhaps it was that she wanted to get back to herself so desperately that she didn't want sleep to hinder her.
She rose before dawn and went down to the rocks, intent on having a quiet meditation to connect with the outside before everyone else woke. Nadir had woken and asked her if she was okay, but she assured him she was and that she just wanted a few moments to herself.
He hadn't argued and instead had simply asked her to take the new daggers he'd given her and said he would see her at breakfast. She pushed on a light dress she'd been brought the day before, strapping the blades to her thighs, and then she made her way out in the darkness. The cool of the spring morning wrapped around her with the surf wind, and she heard the last howls of the Ulfram as they relished their remaining two nights beneath the Dead Moons. She strode out to the end of the jetty, using the navy light as her guide, nearly stumbling a few times on the uneven rocks, but she kept herself together until she got to the very end of it.
There were three small rocks a few feet from the end of the jetty. Nyssa stepped into the cool water and walked through, her toes melting into the water as the rocks disappeared, and she grabbed onto the solitary three. Her dress soaking, but she didn't care. She pulled herself up in a struggle and nearly slipped on the slickness, but she held it long enough to get herself steady.
Her eyes closed as she sat, and she sighed in the morning salt air.
Focusing on her breathing as she walked through every torture. She counted the strikes of the whip on her back, feeling her skin tingle and her insides start to shake. Fear wrapping around her, but she held steady. Her eyes opened as she wiped away tears, and that was when she saw herself in the still of the reflecting water.
Red-eyed and gaunt-like, but hanging on. For the first time in a long time, she locked eyes with the girl in that reflection, and she whispered, "I'll bring you home."
A promise to merge the creature and person she'd become with the warrior she had once found.
She closed her eyes again and thought of the creature, the form. The amber eyes and shadowed figure beneath the cracks of fire. She didn't know how she was supposed to tame it and hold it from consuming her. She needed Dorian. She needed guidance. She needed—
A sudden wisp of wind billowed around her, followed by a cool gentle wrap. A mist tickled her flesh. She reached out her core, allowing that barrier to continue to stay down, intent on merging herself with whatever it was. There was something familiar about the warmth in her stomach, the chill that ran down her spine and caused her hair to stand on end. And when she finally opened her eyes, she nearly jumped out of her skin at the creature swooping over her.
The black phoenix.
Nyssa almost bolted to her feet as it landed at her back—
Sit.
Nyssa turned but remained seated on that rock. Her stomach dropped at its velvet purr. The curl of its black flames silhouetted in the rising sun.
What… Hi.
The phoenix seemed to laugh. She could feel her smile.
Hello, little Nyssari.
The sound of her voice reminded her of fog on the top of the ocean… smokey and honeyed. Melodic as a poem. As though the most serene of women were entrapped in such a beautiful creature.
What… What are you doing here?
I wanted to see how you were after escaping the void.
It was then she realized it was the Sun who had told her to let go.
You were with me.
The Sun nodded.You will not be able to learn the control of this form on your own. It is too powerful. I can help.
But you’re the Sun. Why would you help me?
Because your mother has no idea what she’s done to you. She's no idea the creature she's made you.
