Sutor had given Nyssa enough clothes to get her through the week while she worked on the personal ones for her. She had gone on a walk with Lex after seeing the seamstress. Lex wanted to work her up slowly, help her build her muscle and her stamina back. They would start small, with just a few things in the backpack, and Lex told her she would keep adding items for weight, eventually getting her back on her horse and securing her a new bow.
As they walked that day, Nyssa couldn't help but feel a nervous energy. Barely paying attention to Lex beside her as she remembered all the things she'd once said to her. The trigger of her running away.
Lex flipped her shaggy hair from her eyes, twirling the bamboo stick as she walked until finally, Nyssa couldn't stop herself.
"Lex, I—“
"You don't have to say anything," Lex said, apparently knowing where the conversation was going.
"No—“ Nyssa stopped and turned to Lex. "No, I do," she insisted. “I—“
"I am sorry, Princess," Lex interjected, and Nyssa frowned.
"Why are you sorry?"
"Because I was not there for you when you needed me," Lex said. "I should have done so much more to help you."
"Lex, you'd just lost your best friend," Nyssa argued. "The person you were born to protect."
"My duty was to protect you," Lex said.
"I think we can both agree that duty has sailed," Nyssa said. The nervousness she'd felt when they'd first started walking waned, and now standing before Lex, she felt more confident than she had in a while. All the things she'd been through settling inside her. What Sutor had said earlier. The Honest people that had once condemned her nodding their heads.
Despite what she'd gone through, she'd never felt more affirmed in her position.
Nyssa almost smiled as it settled, and she shifted in front of the Belwark. "I never want you to think you have to protect me because of your duty. I want you to want to protect me because you believe in what I can do," she admitted. "I will never be Drae, and you will never love me as you did her. I am not a Queen, and I don't know that I will ever live up to that standard in the time we have. But I am asking that if you choose me, that you trust me. Our places in this world are no longer bound by our titles or the kingdom that tore our family apart. We are free to make those decisions on our own. You willalwaysbe the Second Sun. But I want you to choose who you want to follow. Whether that's Bala, Dorian, me, Nadir, or anyone else— or perhaps simply yourself, find your own way. It is your choice."
Lex swallowed hard, and Nyssa reached up to wipe a tear from her face.
"You are free, Lex. Not that you have ever been enslaved or mistreated, because I know how much you loved my sister and how much she loved you. But I want you to know you are free to be wherever you want in this world. Do whatever you want. You don't have to stay here. You don't even have to participate in this war. You're free to go to the mountains with Dorian. Be with Bala as you want to. You can march back to Magnice on your own and take Rhaif's head yourself, though I believe Dorian will fight you if you do—“
Lex huffed amusedly in agreement.
Nyssa smiled at the sound of her laugh. "You can do anything, Lex. Be anywhere. I want you to have that choice. And when we go to negotiate with Man, you don't have to be with me. Only if that's what you want."
Lex's weight shifted again, and she blew out an audible breath, hands pressing to her hips as she tried and failed to stifle tears.
Nyssa almost laughed at Lex's reaction. "What?"
A tear fell down the Belwark's cheek, and she smiled through the emotion. "Who are you, and what have you done with my spoiled Princess?"
To this, Nyssa laughed. "Oh, shedied," she said as though it were obvious. "Tragically. She snapped somewhere back at that camp."
Lex's arms wrapped around her, and Nyssa sighed into her embrace, closing her eyes and breathing in the ashen scent of her. Lex kissed her head hard after a moment, and then she pulled away.
"I choose you," Lex told her.
And Nyssa took a step back.
"What?" she asked, fully surprised by the declaration. "Why?"
Lex dropped her hands, and she stared out at the ocean a minute, hair fluttering in the wind. "Had you told me a cycle ago I could go anywhere, you're right. I would have chosen Bala," she admitted. "I would have chosen to stand by a King secure in her place. Someone like your sister who knew who they were and did not necessarily need me. Because it was what I was accustomed to. Your sister... She never needed me to protect her, but she always allowed me to. I miss her every day. While you were gone, I sat on this beach and cursed her to the moons and back. I miss her as I miss oxygen beneath the ocean."
"So why choose me?" Nyssa asked. "Why not Bala?"
"I believe in Bala," Lex said. "But I also know how I feel about her, and I know it would be dangerous for me to mix my feelings with my duty—“
"Do not stay with me because I am a lesser choice," Nyssa argued. "Stay with me because you want to."
