Nyssa’s eyes widened again. “Oh, this isweird. This is justweird—” She paused a moment upon seeing the corners of his lips slowly growing upwards. “What are you smiling at?”
“This is brilliant,” he declared. “Do it again. Reach for the Noirdiem. I want to feel.”
“I don't... This was the first I’ve ever been able to connect with a core. I don’t know—”
“Try it,” Dorian begged. “Come on, Nys. I want to feel something other than the agony of this last month. Please.”
She sighed as she watched him, understanding where he was coming from and honestly wanting the same. “I think I have to be touching one of them,” she admitted. “I’ve never done this before. I’m not… I’m not Drae. She could feel all of them. I… I can only hear them, process their grief through the sound of their voices. I…”
His smile faltered along with the brightness his eyes had held in them just seconds before. Despite his whispering, “It’s okay,” and squeezing her hand, she knew he was disappointed.
She would do anything to see that smile back on his face.
“No, wait," she said, standing. "Just…" The doe watched Nyssa as she moved, but Nyssa didn’t let it deter her.
"Come on," Nyssa continued. "We'll get closer to one.”
Still holding Dorian's hand, Nyssa crawled over the logs with him toward the creatures.
The doe stepped forward upon their approach.
Towering a foot above her, the Noirdiem finally bent its great head. Nyssa's palm flattened against the skeleton nose.
She had been right. It did feel like velvet beneath her fingertips.
For a moment, nothing happened. Nyssa realized she was holding back. So she did what she had done with the Ulfram, and she let go.
A blinding light flashed behind her closed eyes. Warmth akin to sunlight filled her. She held that joyous ache in her chest a second before pushing it out into her extremities.
Dorian squeezed her hand.
She looked over at him. His eyes were closed, but there was a singular tear stretching down his cheek. Nyssa's heart ached at the sight of it. When his gaze met hers, he watched her in wonderment, chest heaving jaggedly as hers was, and she knew he felt the same comforting vulnerability as she did at that moment.
"Amazing," he breathed. "Drae felt this with every creature?" he asked.
"Every creature is different, but yes. This is what she learned to do, only greater. And she could disconnect herself into one of them for brief periods too.”
The words staled between them. Dorian slipped his arms around her and rested his chin atop her head for a long enough moment that she knew he was letting that information settle with him as it had with her the first time she heard it.
"Once we've fixed the broken relationships with the other races and bought some time in this war, I'll make sure he pays for all of it," Dorian whispered. "We will watch him choke and turn to ash just as she did."
"Except slower," Nyssa affirmed.
Dorian looked as though he might smile when he pulled back, but the darkness of his pupils reminded her of the anger in her own body. She knew it was a promise from him and not an exaggerated fantasy.
He kissed her forehead hard and agreed, "Slower."
CHAPTER FIVE
Lex found the pair still curled up in the woods just before dawn.
The Noirdiem had stayed with Nyssa and Dorian the entire night. The two alpha deer that had connected with the siblings allowed them to sleep between their bodies. Even as restless as it had been with Dorian’s fire flickering on and off all night, it was still a better night than those before. Nyssa wondered if the connection to their cores had helped calm her sleepy mind.
They were just disappearing when Lex roused the pair.
"Either of you want to tell me what happened?" she asked as they both rubbed their faces.
"Sort of hard to explain," Nyssa muttered, squinting at the sunlight coming through the trees.
