"Because why shouldn't I? Yes, you did walk onto that field as a fool today, but why had you any reason to think otherwise? You work tirelessly to better yourself and not so you can boast about what you could accomplish, but because you are so desperate to be the person Draven and Aydra knew you could be. Today, just before you walked out, you were more concerned with putting me at ease than you were with thinking about your own fate. I follow you because of moments like that. I would not have wanted the position as your Second if I did not believe in what you could bring to your kingdom."
"Yeah? And what's that?"
"True freedom from the lies and safety from the past. You and your sister are the first of your line to truly support and love one another instead of trying to take the other out."
"I will do anything to protect her," Dorian promised.
"I know."
Dorian rubbed his hands over his face, hair still damp from the bath. Corbin's affirmation stilled in him, but the emptiness of failure continued to ring in his ears.
"You have to fight, Dorian."
It was rare for Corbin to call him by his name, and the sound of it made Dorian's ears perk. He narrowed his gaze at his Second. "I am fighting," Dorian managed. "Did you not see me today?"
"Not that kind of fight," Corbin countered.
A heavy sigh passed through Dorian's lungs. He knew Corbin was right, and he hated it. Dorian ached for the feeling of anything that would keep his mind off the war and what he'd lost. He ached for his home and the sense of genuine laughter. He ached for pleasure and for endorphins through his blood.
"I know it's only been a few weeks," Corbin continued. "And I know you'll be struggling through this for years. With good days and with bad. But I need you to fight. You have to fight for yourself first."
Dorian's hands ran behind his neck. Corbin's words reminded him of the ones Draven had said to him the night of the fire.
We keep fighting.
"How do I do that?"
Corbin sighed. "We'll figure it out together," he promised. He reached out and clapped Dorian's shoulder then, to which Dorian winced, but said nothing.
"If you weren't in such a state, I might even congratulate you," Corbin said, his tone one of slight playfulness.
And Dorian knew it was an attempt to make him feel better. He gave his Belwark a half-smile, to which Corbin winked at him— the first time he'd ever played a part in Dorian's games. If Dorian had felt more like himself, he might have kissed Corbin and pushed him against the wall. But all he wanted at that moment was the darkness of sleep. His body was so exhausted from the day, and yet his mind was not.
He wasn't looking forward to the night.
"Do you want me to stay?" Corbin offered as he rose from the ground.
Dorian thought about it. He considered it for a long enough moment that Corbin started to sit down again. But finally, he shook his head. "I'm as likely to kill you in the middle of the night, Bin," he said softly. "You just decided you are my friend. I'd rather not ruin that relationship with death."
"Might impress the woman," Corbin bantered.
"Perhaps." He sighed heavily. "Get out of here. I'll see you in the morning."
"Hagen left a tonic for you," Corin said as he handed a large cup to Dorian from the table by the door. Dorian sniffed it, and it made his nose wrinkle.
"I told him you wouldn't like it."
"What does it do?"
"Supposed to help with the pain and let your mind rest."
Dorian clenched his nose and gulped it back. Corbin was at the door, hand on the handle when Dorian called him back.
"Hey, Bin?"
"Yeah, Prince?"
"Thank you," Dorian managed, and he hoped Corbin knew how much it took him to say the two words.
