Evil genius.“Way to go, Winnie.Way to be a bro.”
The cake looked stunning—glossy and smooth with piped roses lining the rim.“I feel like I should be having an existential crisis to deserve it.”Nothing could possibly excuse me having this much cake this often.
Armand carefully set the platter down on the card table and took hold of my arms.“It’s not about deserving, love.I made it because I wanted you to have it.”
I was still trying to talk my way out of it, knowing I’d have to recommit twice as hard to my gym routine, when I saw that Armand had already grabbed two forks.He raised an eyebrow, poising both of them over the cake.“Sure you won’t have some?”
It was impossible to say no to him—not looking like that, not having spent the time and effort making me something that smelled too scrumptious to eat, not when I wanted to do anything to keep him from having second thoughts about me.
I snatched one of the forks.“Cake for dinner?”
He brightened into a heart-stopping smile.“Cake for dinner.”
It quieted my traitorous mind.At least for the moment.
Voice Memo Interlude 7
RECEIVED: November 22
Titch:Dude, theyfiredKen.They fully fired Professor Lazlo.We got an email saying the screenwriting class was now an independent study, and all we have to do is turn in our final screenplays at the end of term.Which isnuts.Like, he hasn’t come to class since last month, and no one’s heard from him, but we were still uploading assignments and stuff and meeting up ...But Joseph was talking to one of his TAs in another class, and they said Ken is like,firedfired.Which, good riddance, I guess?He’s not dead, I checked.You won’tbelievewhere he is.Go on.Ask.
Okay, okay, he’s inOhio.I guess he’s out there begging his wife to take him back.Can you believe it?I can.For her sake, I hope she says no.[pause]Finchgiving is in a few days.Skyler’s excited.And my dad offered to teach him and Matt how to make his famous brownie pecan cheesecake pie.MaybeI’llgo camping on the coast.Let Skyler and his brother and his girlfriend have Thanksgiving with my parents, and I’ll justgo away.I’ll take the dogs and the tortoise—I’m realizing I never told you about my family’s animal thing.My dad’s an exotic pets vet, so our house is full of critters.’Cause we take them in sometimes.[sigh]And we have this ferret named Darnell who’s, like, inlovewith Skyler.And it’s so cute you could die.I’ll send you some videos.And he’s excited to show Matt and Delia all the animals, and he really likes my parents.[siiigh]Kinda wish you and Lucas were here too.
Armand:[thumbs-up]
Armand Wishes He Was Wrong
November 23
99 days sober
I reached across the expanse of bed and found a cool spot, my fingers flexing against the little mountain ranges of sheet and blanket.
That wasn’t right.
I opened one eye and saw that there was an empty spot on the mattress that should have been filled with sexy cowboy.I squinted at the phone on my bedside milk crate: 3 a.m., too early even for Lucas.
There was probably nothing more sinister at play than a late-night trip to the toilet, and I should have let myself journey back to the land of nod, but something deep—at the spinal level—made me sit up.
The cool sheets.
He’d been gone from the bed long enough for the heat of him to fade.
I got out of bed and stood alone in the dark flat, shivering slightly, but didn’t call out his name.I should have.I should have said his name and received a sleepy response from the toilet down the hall, but I didn’t, and instead I felt my way slowly toward the kitchenette.
It took a moment, but then I found it in the sink—the empty cake platter.
I heard a muffled sound from the toilet and instinctively hugged myself.I mustn’t go in there.
Every fiber of my body told me that I couldn’t and shouldn’t go in there or say anything.It wasn’t the same as when Lucas subtly and gently supported my sobriety—I knew there was a problem, thatIhad a problem, this was different ...
Don’t do it, Demetrio.He doesn’t owe you anything.You haven’t even told him about ...
You haven’t told him about any of it.
I filled a glass with water and knocked on the door.
The soft retching noises stopped, and then Lucas called out, voice hoarse and congested, “I’m fine, babe!Sorry, I’m just sick—”
