I breathed through my nose, which didn’t help the nausea since everything smelled of Maccies, and ducked my head, glaring at my friends’ reflection through the cover of my sweaty hair.
“You ought to have already told him,” Craig added flatly.
“Is that why you’re here?”I snapped.“So you all could launch the intervention, mark 2.0?”
Florabelle and Sam made protective moves, but Craig beamed.“I’m on a long lunch.And you know I love watching you all bop about.”
Utter.Twat.“Sorry.I know you mean well, but I’m not ready.”I continued as Sam rolled their eyes.“This is my decision.I know what I can and can’t handle—”
“Well,that’sa blatant lie.”Belle sucked her teeth.
“What we mean to say,” Craig cut in gently, looking from me to Sam to Florabelle, “is that we’ve been here before, Armand.Well, nothereexactly,” he amended when I shot him a hurt look, “but damn near.It might be worth considering our input, given—”
“He’s not back.Notreally,” I hissed, then bit my lip.I wasn’t going to tell them about the Porsche.I couldn’t.“Please, can’t you let me deal with this at my own pace?”
Sam cocked an eyebrow at me.“So never?”
I sighed and drank more water.Sulking.
Craig bent down to place a hand on my shoulder, meeting my eyes in the mirror again.“Armand, you’vegotto tell Lucas about him.About all of it.He seems decent; he’ll understand.None of it was your faul—”
“I’m grown,” I spoke over him, softly but deliberately.“It’s beenyears.”I shrugged off his hand and got to my feet, still stretching, groaning, and aching.But I managed a smile.“Stuff your worry.”
“Tosser.”
“Lucas knows you’re sober, love.He’s not an idiot,” Florabelle tried her luck one more time, “and heliveswith you, so he also knows what a mess you are.Telling him about Jean is the next logical step, especially if he’s back—”
“He’s not.Back.”I gently pulled Belle forward so I could kiss her head, then did the same to Craig.I tried it with Sam, but they ducked under my arm, giving me a brief, powerful hug from behind.“Sam, myribs, mate!”
“Get out, you wee tumshie.”They chuckled, squeezing again.
My friends meant well.They let me maneuver the conversation back toward solid ground; it wasn’t long before Craig had to faff off back to work and Belle had to clean up before the next class.Who knew where Sam was off to.
I’d got a text from Lucas about what a wonderful day he’d had, and did I want to meet him at Canary Wharf at this restaurantsomeonerecommended?
I didn’t.
As in, I very muchwantedto meet him, at Canary Wharf, even.But I didn’t look forward to the drop in my stomach as I scanned the menu prices.Or the way Lucas was going to roll his eyes and insist that it was his treat since he’d picked the place.I would force a smile, and eat what he ordered, and quietly die inside.
Because the alternative was telling the truth.
Voice Memo Interlude 4
RECEIVED: October 8
[muffled]
Titch:The plan worked.Ha ha.I am victorious.Ouch.
Titch:Skyler says I need to tell you what happened before he tells Lucas, because he can’t not tell Lucas, and then Lucas will tell you, and you’ll be mad at me.I was tellinghim—ow—that you never respond to my messages anyway, so it won’t really matter in the long run.But um.Yeah.I got Terri arrested.
Skyler:Hi, Armand, I’m here too.Terri gothimselfarrested.The plan didn’t work, becausethis was not the plan.
Titch:Yes, it was!My plan was to get Terri to hit me on camera, and it worked.
Skyler:I’m still really freaked out.I didn’t get to you in time.I—I didn’t see it coming—
Titch: [squeak]What?No!Skyler, you couldn’t have known—
