RECEIVED: September 8
Titch:So, I followed Terri to the Gurt Yurt.Can you believe it?He was one hundred percent about to harass Joseph again so I followed him and did that throat clearing thing.Likeahem.Yeah, I can’t believe I did that.[laugh]But it worked, he left.Go figure.[huff huff]Sorry, I’m on my way to catch Skyler after his psych class[huff huff]campus doesnotneed to be this big.I have a plan.I have concepts of a plan.I need to talk to Skyler about it.How are you?I know you won’t answer me but I’m asking anyway.[huff huff]Ooh, there he is SKYLER!SKYLER, I HAVE A PLAN!
Armand:[thumbs-up]
RECEIVED: September 9
Titch:The plan is underway.I’m not gonna tell you about it ’cause you won’t approve, but I’ll tell you about it if you ask me.Ask me.Go on.
RECEIVED: September 12
Titch:Okay.Professor Lazlo isweird.He told us to call him Ken on the first day, which I didn’tthinkwas a red flag but oh.My.God.Also, he says hi, I guess?I told him I’d startedForty-Nine Hues of Dusk—my screenplay, by the way—in your workshop this summer, and he said something like, “Ah, Armand Demetrio, the boy genius, of course.”Which is hilarious, ’cause you’re both super old.Did you getinvolvedwith Professor Ken?’Cause he is onetox-xicpiece of work.He keeps way oversharing about his divorce proceedings and getting all existential.I don’t know how to tell you this, but it really makes me appreciate your teaching last semester.You were awkward, sure, but you never cried during class.Yeesh.
RECEIVED: September 12
[muffled whispers]
Titch:Hey, Armand, I know it’s late...or actually it’s probably noon for you or whatever, but here it’s the middle of the night and I want you to know that...I’m doing really good.Really, really good.About the whole Skyler thing.I want to be his friend.Even more than I want to kiss him, or touch his muscles, or run my fingers through his hair.Yeah, yeah, none of your business, blah, blah “och Titch ya blarney wee pervert.”[yawn]It’s getting easier and I’m getting better.I thought you should know that.Goodnight.
Armand:[thumbs-up]
Lucas Makes Friends and Influences People
September 15
“I should warn you,” Armand said, not for the first time, “my mates are arseholes.”
Armand had wanted me to meet his friends, which was fine and not anxiety-inducing at all.It was one thing for me to ask to interview the people in his life, but another for him to suggest I meet his gang.It had taken Darren ten whole years to do what Armand had done in a matter of months.
We’d gotten dolled up— Well,I’dgotten dolled up in a dark navy Ralph Lauren shirt and cream slacks that (thank you, squats) made my ass look great.Needless to say, I’d hastened to find a local gym to do some serious damage control in the days leading up to the meet.There was a niche, hole-in-the-wall place called The Hench Bench, which was such a great name I couldn’tnotdrop a membership.
Armand, to my chagrin, had gone with his staple: dark jeans and a somehow darker shirt so ragged it looked like it was hanging on for dear life.
“Excellent salesmanship,” I responded jokingly to hide my nerves, playfully bumping his shoulder as we walked the London streets towards Boogie Le Bouge.“Why are you friends with them if they’rearseholes?”I overemphasized the accent because he always cringed so adorably.
“It’s different when it’s me,” he huffed.“They’ll likeyou, though.”
“Do they know anything about me?You did tell them I was coming, right?Also am I over- or under-dressed, because I’ve never been to a burlesque club before so I probably look stupid—”
“Lucas.”Armand had stopped walking, presumably so he could look me right in the eye, albeit shyly.“You look something, but it’s definitely not stupid.”As if to subconsciously prove his point, his gaze rolled over me from head to toe, sparking heat in my cheeks.“Trust me.They’ll love you.”
I didn’t fully believe him, but I allowed him to take my arm and continue leading us to the club as I checked my phone for updates.The social media seeds I’d meticulously planted were already bearing fruit.Ever since launching the official @RealArmandDemetrio FotoBom page, comments had flooded in by the dozens—some from existing fans ofSurrogate Goose, some from randoms who stumbled across the posts and were now invested in the Goose Lore and Armand’s life story.
The only person more active than me was @LowRezMedici, a regular commenter who engaged with every post: sharing and reposting and generally becoming known in theSurrogate Goosecommunity as the comic’s biggest fan.In a sea of thirst comments, fire emojis, andSurrogate Goosefan theories, LowRez would always talk about the photo quality, and the way I captured Armand in such a beautiful, vulnerable way.
Such perfection in imperfection [heart eyes emoji]
The form elevates the content: this series is a marvelous and artistic gaze into the intimacy of creation [sparkling diamond emoji]
A polished mirror through which to admire the unpolished multitudes of a growing artiste [clinking champagne glasses emoji]
The comments were always a teensy bit pretentious—I didn’t know anything about fancy schmancy art terms—but it was validating that people wanted more, and that my efforts were producing results.
A notification popped up: LowRez had DM’d me in FotoBom.
Good day!This is for the person running this account who has been taking such beautiful photos.I have been following this artist for some time and am in awe of the quality of content being curated on these accounts.Do you perchance have a website or portfolio so I may admire more of your work?
Damn.I knew I should’ve gotten around to making a portfolio.But how would it help me?Before this gig, all my photos were of the horses back home at The End is Neigh, and the few I took of Skyler as my first human model for the website.I needed to branch out, have more diversity in my subjects.It’s what Patricia Yang would do.I responded:
