I stared at him. How could one man be so completely and wonderfully ridiculous? “Maybe later, but for now? You, good sir, are going to, dare I say it?Exfoliate!”
His shoulders slumped. “I am?”
I nodded, hair bouncing, and headed back into the kitchen, rooting through the drawers by the sink until I found what I needed: a plastic bag and saran wrap. “Now get over here so I can wrap your foot.”
“Wh—”
“So you canshower, Stinky.”
He keened softly like a creaky door or air being let out of a balloon. “This isso bloody inappropriate,” he muttered.
I rolled my eyes, grabbed another croissant, and crouched down to start waterproofing his injury. He stood there and took it, holding his pajama pant leg up and out of my way. After a few moments, he harrumphed and straightened up, fisting a hand in his hair. “Titch, thank you for, ehrm. This isn’t your job.”
“Isn’t it though?” I asked through a mouthful of heaven. “Doyouknow what ‘liaison’ means?”
“Truly—” His voice went terrifyingly earnest, so I did us both a favor and cut him off.
“Just go, get in the shower, Mandy, and don’t make me come in after you!”
“On one condition.” He sighed. “You never,evercall me that again.”
“No promises. Now get in there!” I used the tube of saran wrap to give him a motivationalfwack.
He glared at me, then simply gritted his teeth and hobbled into the bathroom.
While he showered, I took the opportunity to run out to the pharmacy on the corner and pick up a few supplies, including a plain black walking cane. The convention center was huge, and the idea of Armand limping along sadly was a bit too much.
I got back just as he was coming out of the bathroom and nearly gave him a heart attack.
“Not yet.” I handed him several bottles. “Go back in there and use these.”
He stared down at them like they were mysterious potions. I had to quell the urge to start singing “White Rabbit”by Jefferson Airplane. “This one’s a pomegranate face peel, and this one’s a shea butter firming body lotion. Ooh, andthisis some under-eye cream. For those dark circles, you know? And the puffiness, and the lines—”
He shut the bathroom door in my face.
But when he ventured forth again, his skin was practically glowing. He looked like someone who occasionally got eight hours of sleep. He was rubbing his smooth cheek a little self-consciously, and there was definitely a lessening of the raccoon effect around his eyes. “I feelraw,” he grumbled.
“Good. Hopefully it’ll make Lucas want to eat you up like cookie dough.”
“I told you, Titch, I don’t think he’s coming.”
“You said he’sseenyou, right? Trust me, he’s coming.”
Armand scowled. “Ti—” But then he unclenched a little, and his grumpy mouth twitched into a brief half smile. After a moment, he seemed to have worked up the nerve to say, “Have you spoken to Skyler at all?”
I froze. “I thought that was none of your business?”
“It isn’t,” he growled. “This really isdeeplyinappropriate. You both have technically worked for me—”
I rolled my eyes. “We worked for the school, you egomaniac. But no. We haven’t talked.” I shrugged, hoping it made me appear casual rather than devastated. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. Except—” I pointed at Armand’s head “—what the hell we’re going to do with your hair.”
“My ha—” He sighed heavily.
Smart man.
“Fine.”
Sure enough, there wasn’t another outburst till the time came to choose an outfit.
