Lucas:damn that’s deep, you a poet now? ;)
Lucas:#dropthatpoetryanthology
I groaned to myself softly.
Lucas:but seriously though, thank you. I’ve never really talked about this with anyone before. Like my mom kind of gets it, but ...
Lucas:also I’m the third wheel in my friend group and skyler is a teenager, so
I floundered, trying to find a way to sayno please keep talking to me I love itwithout sounding utterly deviant or deranged.
Armand:I like talking to you.
Armand:I hope that doesn’t sound weird.
I was holding my phone so stiffly my fingers had started to ache. I shook out each hand in turn, realized that I was making a horrible, sad little whine in the back of my throat, and that I’d been doing it for quite some time. Why wasn’t Lucas responding? Had I ruined it? What, exactly,wasit that I had potentially ruined?
I was about to start typing out apologies when my phone nearly buzzed out of my hands.
Lucas:It’s not weird. You’re sweet.
Oh god. Why was my body reacting to this simple conversation like it was a thrill park ride? I stopped, took a deep breath, and tried to regain even the slightest, barest shadow of chill.
Armand:Speaking of sweets, any requests?
Armand:I was thinking raspberry sticky buns? I could have them ready by the time you get home from work today?
Too much? It was likely too much. Why didn’t I have the ability to operate in middle gears? Why couldn’t Iperson? And to make things worse, I was agonizing over every line like a bloody teenager.
Lucas:I’m supposed to be dieting damn it, I haven’t earned my treats this week
Lucas:but yes those sound amazing
Lucas:also no work today
Lucas:just a depressing lonely day at home
I blinked down at the screen, the hangover still pulsing dully behind my eyes and my mouth going very, very dry.
Lucas:also didn’t you say you bake when you’re upset? Did I bum you out?
I swallowed thickly, heart thumping in my chest, palms sweating. I knew I should type slowly and carefully but my hands were hardly listening to me.
Armand:I’m not upstart are you hammer?
Armand:upset home
Armand:Are you currently at the flat?
A moment, then:
Lucas:yeah
Lucas:wait, are you?
I stood up. I couldn’t help it—my body was suddenly brimming with nervous energy and I circled the room twice before realizing I hadn’t responded yet.
Armand:Yes.
