Lucas:Don’t keep your readers in suspense!!
Lucas:What is the penguin doing there!!!
Lucas:What is the meaning of the frog with the shot glass!!!
Armand:Whatever you want him to be doing. Whatever you want it to mean. Death of the author.
Lucas:uh huh yep sure uh huh
Lucas:I’m thinking about the death of a certain author alright
Lucas:look I don’t even go here, but I just like Knowing Things
Armand:So does the frog.
August 4th
Lucas:where’s my bottle of tarragon?
Armand:I don’t know what tarragon is.
Armand:There was a bottle that smelled weird.
Armand:I may have put it on the front step.
Lucas:THAT WAS GOING TO GET USED IN A VERY DELICIOUS BATCH OF SOUP YOU SWINE
Armand:You seem upset.
Armand:Sorry about your soup.
Lucas:alas somehow I shall persevere
Lucas:seriously though, is ramen all you eat? bc I’m pretty sure there are some nutritional guidelines against that
Armand:The modern world was built by ramen eaters.
Armand:I also partake of the occasional canned meat delicacy. Any relation to Barclay Beef? I believe it makes up more than seventy-eight percent of my DNA at this point.
Lucas:funny you should say that
Lucas:little did you know that you are, in fact, speaking to Mr. Beef himself
Armand:Wait are you serious
Armand:?
Armand:Oh my god. I feel like I’m meeting royalty. Except you’re not a complete waste of space and public funds. Wow. Heir to the Beef.
Lucas:I’ve been a vegetarian for more than a decade so I don’t really have anything to do with the Beef Family Legacy except to use that money to help our horses
Lucas:oh my god I hate that so much, you are not making heir to the beef happen
Armand:Too late. It’s already happened.
Armand:Wait, is that where the meat comes from? The horses?
Lucas:BITE YOUR TONGUE WHATS WRONG WITH YOU
