Finally, he broke into a sad and self-deprecating smile. “I guess it’s pretty classic ... my brother’s girl and all.”
Oh youwouldlead a life lifted out of a country song.“That’s too bad,” I managed.
He shrugged, staring down into his mug.
I got the distinct feeling there was more to this story. “Did something happen?”
Skyler looked up quickly, clearly horrified. “No.No. It’s just ...” He took a deep breath. “It’s complicated because I thought I didn’t feel that way about people. Like, I’d never experienced that before. Ever. With anyone.”
“No other girls?” Where did I get off asking him stuff like this? Why not just straight up ask:Have you only ever been attracted to girls or have you ever considered dating non-girls? A boy maybe? Specifically a short, skinny, red-haired boy who may or may not be sitting across from you right this moment? Please?
Amazingly, Skyler didn’t appear embarrassed by the question and seemed to be seriously considering it. “Nope.”
That right there? That was a cruel and enduring little ray of hope. “So she’s really the onlygirlyou’ve ever liked?”
He nodded, then gave a sad laugh. “She’s the onlypersonI’ve ever liked, in that way.”
Yes, that did mean what I thought it meant—Skyler could very well be bisexual or pan.Oh dear god, why am I doing this to myself?
Just as I was about to start hyperventilating, Skyler gave a gentle cough. “Wow. I’ve never actually told anyone that before. Obviously I can’t tell Matt, that’s my brother. It used to be that anything I couldn’t tell Matt, I could tell Delia, but they’re so happy together and I just needed to getout—” He wet his lips, clearly forcing a smile. “What about you?”
“W-what about me what?”
“I don’t know, who wasyourfirst crush?” He was trying to seem playful, which combined with the silky locks and twinkling blue eyes might well have been illegal in certain states.
“Benny Horrowitz, kindergarten. I watched him swallow a slug, and it was the greatest feat of bravery I’d ever seen.” This was getting stupidly uncomfortable. “Let’s not talk about me. It’s boring. Where are you from?”
“I’m from Seattle, where we have slugs but don’t usually eat them. As far as I know.” He shook his head at me, smiling. “And for the record, anyone who admits to being into slug-eating is automatically the opposite of boring. Where are you from?”
“Ah, Seattle. Rain. Space Needle.”
“Are you telling me you arealsofrom Seattle or are you avoiding the question?”
“What, do I not look like I could be from Seattle? Not good enough for the Pacific North Wet?”
“Robin.”
He said. My name.
I swallowed hard and forced a laugh. “Okay, yeah, I’m from here. Like,herehere.” I nervously crumpled the edge of the wax paper my pastry had come with. “My whole life. Same town. Same people, same ...issues.” Oh no.
He watched me carefully for a moment, then, “Issues? Like that guy? The one who ... assaulted you the other night?” He said it in a gentle voice, like I was an animal he was trying to keep calm.
My body tried to shudder at the memory, but I was holding myself as stiffly as possible now. “Yeah, Terri Bishop. He’s been doing stuff like that for years.” There was no point in lying; Skyler had already seen the worst of it.
Skyler was frowning, and his hand twitched like it might take mine, which it couldn’t because I’ddie. “Years?” he asked. “You haven’t told anybody?”
I shrugged, surreptitiously taking my hands off the table and clasping them over my knees. “Yeah. Um, I actuallyhave, but you know how it is. This isn’t the kind of thing people care about. Even though he usually does this stuff in public, he makes it look ... Like, he makes it seem funny, mostly, so they don’t see it as a problem, I guess? He was supposed to have moved away, but—” My breath hitched, and I forced a grin. “Well, at least I got to meet you because of it.”
Skyler didn’t smile back. “What do you mean people don’t care?”
I took a deep breath. “He’s good at making it seem like we’re friends. Like it’s a game, and I’m in on it. A-and when I’ve tried to fight, it gets worse, so—so I justdon’t.”
Skyler was straight up scowling now; the simmering rage behind his eyes almost made me faint. “That’s horrible. I’m so sorry. Someone should do something. You can’t live your life in fear.”
All I’d wanted was a date, and all IgotwasDateline. Typical. I tried to keep grinning. “Watch me.”
“Robin, that’s not funny.” He looked sosad, and he’d said my name again.Ugh. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not my place, we just met, but—”
