So much fluttering was happening inside of me I was in danger of floating away. “How about you let me buy you a cup of coffee instead?”
He looked surprised. “Right now?”
I shook my head and forced the words out before I lost my nerve or passed out from how verya lotthis all was. “No, um, later. Friday?”
He gave a bemused smile, glancing at me, then back at the path in front of us. I was a little devastated that we’d already arrived at the front steps of Fisher Hall and he was going to put me down any minute now. Sure enough— “Yeah, I’d love to. Can you stand?”
It took me a moment to understand that he wasn’t just evicting me from the safety of his arms, he’d also saidyes! That he’dloveto!
Once he’d carefully set me on my feet, two things became very clear: one, there was nearly a foot of height difference between us, and two, I’d been a bit cavalier about standing.
I leaned back against the front door, using one hand to keep myself decent, and the other to fish for my phone and keycard, easing my legs back into the role of holding my weight. Skyler was watching me in concern.
“You okay?”
“Oh yeah, I’m feeling better. Yeah—yup, much better.” I needed to stop talking. “Not better than when you carried me, because obviously that was, well, nice ... I just didn’t mean that I preferred it when you— I guess I just wanted to saythanks.”
He smiled, then pulled out his phone. “Wanna give me your number?”
Right. Because he’d saidyes, he’d love to. Whose life evenwasthis? I rattled off my number, my voice rising in pitch by the digit, and then watched as my phone screen lit up with a text that said, somewhat adorably:hi it’s me Skyler.
I held it up to show him I’d received it and then, riding the cresting wave of panic inside me, I said, “So, um. See you Friday. I’ll text you. Bye, thanks again for saving me.” I fumbled with the key card and darted into the building, up to my room, and into my bed, where I could curl up and gently scream into my pillow.
Maybe I hadn’t pissed the universe off quite as much as I’d thought.
July 20th
Lucas:hi armand it’s me lucas again, how are you?
Lucas:I just wanted to maybe ask a favor? You’re such a good artist and the wizard hat was so pretty but maybe could you not draw on the mirror please, thank you
Lucas:it’s just I work so hard so there won’t be streaks and I’m always so sad to erase your drawing, but like I need to use the mirror
Lucas:hellllooo anybody there?
July 20th
Don’t chicken out. Just call him.
I dialed— Shit, should I have texted first?
“Thank you for calling Paolo’s Pizza Parlor, home of the famous Pineapple Supreme, where we put a full pound of pineapple on whatever pizza you order whether you like it or not, then stare at you while you eat it—”
I sighed. “You can turn your camera on, Matt, I know it’s you.”
A brief lag, and my brother’s face and infamous bedhead came into focus. His lips pulled into a smirk. “Are you sure? You sure you haven’t forgotten what I look like after skipping town like an absolute tool?”
I took a shaky breath, hoping this hadn’t been a mistake. “I’m sorry—I ... I was trying to find the right time to tell you, I swear.”
“When? When I died of natural causes at the tender old age of barely-nineteen?” Matt’s phone shook as he slumped onto the couch. “I’m just mad me and Delia never got a chance to see you off like onlookers waving their handkerchiefs at theTitanic.”
I cracked a smile, missing him so much my throat hurt. “You’re right. I formally apologize for not giving you an opportunity to break out your trusty handkerchief collection.”
Matt laughed, the sound warm and familiar, before catching himself and sobering. “But you’re okay, though? This isn’t some sort of quarter-life crisis I need to stage an intervention for? Because we agreed we would schedule our quarter-life crises for the same time.”
“I’ve ... had some stuff to work out.” Ugh, that was possibly the most enigmatic thing I could’ve gone with. “Everything happened really fast, and I’m sorry I threw off our plan. I think I just needed to try and be independent. Do, you know, adult stuff. On my own.”
“Like pay bills, do taxes, and weep at the tragedy of lost youth?” His smile was tight, never quite reaching his eyes.
