“Yes, er.” He hesitated, then explained what he had in mind, only seeming to realize, as he said the words out loud, that his plans might be somewhat ruined by the fact that the business day was well and truly over.
“Don’t worry about it,” I told him, “I actually know a few places that are open twenty-four hours.”
We pulled out of the Briars complex and started toward downtown. Armand was silent, still hunched in his seat, his hands worrying at each other. Finally, after we’d been driving for a few minutes, he grimaced at me. “I made an arse of myself,” he said, and didn’t expand on it.
I couldn’t help it. “Well, thatiswhat we do, isn’t it?”
He frowned at me in confusion.
I widened my eyes slightly. “Thepiners, right? What was it? Die without dignity?”
“Stop,” he groaned.
I chuckled to myself, already feeling a little better. Skyler might not feel sexual or romantic attraction, but he stilllikedme and we were about to spend alotof time together in a confined space. And who knew what that might become? Given time, and patience, and the full force of my will ...
Armand was giving me the side-eye, as if he could hear what I was thinking.
“We’re working on it, right?” I equivocated, “No one gets over themselves all at once.”
He nodded slowly, now staring off into the distance. “No, they do not,” he said ruefully. His hands fisted and unfisted over his knees, that were all but tucked under his chin. “But the point is that they try. Thatwetry.” He worried his bottom lip for a while, his eyes looking haunted and his hands shaking just the slightest bit.
“You’ve been doing really well with the not drinking, huh?” I asked gently.
He winced and gave a noncommittal grunt.
We spent the rest of the ride in silence, and once we pulled up in the parking lot of the shopping complex, I shut the engine off and faced Armand fully. “I’m really proud of you. You know that, right?”
He went red and started trying to extricate himself from Camille. “Shut up, Titch.”
“Love you too, Big Guy.” I blew him a kiss, then followed him out of the car. Armand had made a lot of progress over the past month, but it still felt like a bad idea to let him attempt a business transaction on his own, downtown, after dark. My liaising skills were still required, clearly.
And Armand wasn’t the only one who’d made progress—look at me being all mature and enlightened.I was going to be a good friend to Skyler, and who knew? Maybe one day I wouldn’t be the worst person in the world.
August 16th
I woke slowly, a smile stretching across my face. My skin still buzzed with last night’s tension, and I kept replaying the look on Armand’s face as I’d left him in the living room. It had been nearly strong enough to shatter my willpower.
Don’t rush. We didn’t even know what this was yet, and if I rushed, I might scare him off before we had a chance to figure things out.But he’s leaving. He’s leaving and there’s nothing you can do about it.
I needed to talk to someone about this, and not just anyone. I reached for my phone, tapping against the sides for a long moment before dialing.
“Lucas, I’m so glad you called.”
I knew I hadn’t woken her up. Like me, my mother rose with the sun. “Hi, Mom. How ... how are things at the ranch?”
“Well, we’re finalizing the details for Grandpa Milkshake’s memorial, and it’s a lot of paperwork.” She sighed. “But we can talk about that later. Are you okay? Everything good?”
“Yeah, I ...” I sat up in bed, hugging my knees. “I wanted to apologize for being an asshole the other day. I know you’ve always wanted the best for me, and it’s not your fault I was an idiot about Darren. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you.”
“Oh baby, it’s okay.” There was some shuffling on the other end, which was presumably her moving to a quieter spot. “You’ve been in pain, and I just wish there was something I could do to help.”
I exhaled—I hadn’t realized until this exact moment how much I’d hated fighting with her. Especially when all I wanted was to sit down and tell her all about Armand. “I finally met Mothman. In person.”
Mom gasped. “Ooh, tell me about it! Is he young? Is he cute? Is he single? He’s single, right?”
I coughed a laugh. God, I’d missed gossiping with her. “Um. Yes to all three. I mean, it didn’t go as expected, but ...” My eyes flickered to my bedroom door, my voice dropping a bit, as if there was any chance Armand would be conscious in his room at seven in the morning. “We’ve been texting a lot, and even before he met me he’s been so sweet—and I know it’s kinda soon after Darren, and maybe I’m actually a terrible judge of character after all, but ...” I fiddled with the edge of my duvet. “I really like him, Mom. We went to dinner, and the whole time I was with him, I never felt ...” I couldn’t find the right word.
But Mom did. She always did. “Disrespected?”
