My shoulders relaxed, a smile tugging at my lips. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that a lot.”
Robin pulled me in, his arms curling around my shoulders. I gripped his waist, and this was so much nicer than cradling him after a traumatic event. His hair brushed my cheek, and it smelled clean, and like strawberries. I let myself nuzzle into the embrace.
My phone buzzed.
“Oh, sorry—” I disengaged from Robin to see that Matt was calling. “I could—”
“Don’t worry about it!” Robin said quickly, all but leaping from the bench. “I’ll go grab us one of those popcorn balls shaped like the Death Star.”
I grinned. “Please do. Ask for extra salt.”
Robin flashed me finger-guns with both hands and scurried back toward the convention center. I hit Answer.
“Hey, Matt.”
“So for the sake of transparency, I’m still thinking about what we were talking about last night, so I wanted to check in and see if we’re good. Plus, Delia hasn’t heard from you in a minute and wanted to make sure you weren’t dead.”
I eased back down onto the bench, nudging my shoe against the metal frame. With all that had been going on, I’d been neglecting the group chat. “I’ll text her,” I promised guiltily. “And everything’s good; it’s just ... we talked about what happened last night. Me and Robin.”
“Aaand ...”
“And I asked if maybe I should kiss him. Like. To make sure.”
“You did what now.”
“I didn’t, though,” I said before Matt could do something dumb like freak out. “He said he didn’t want me to do anything I didn’t want to do and apologized for making me uncomfortable.”
There was a loud silence before Matt huffed in my ear. “Well, that was the bare minimum, so good on him for that, I guess. But Skyler, what the fuck, dude? I told you not to try and act the way other people want you to.”
“But then wouldn’t I just be acting the wayyouwant me to?”
“You know, you’re being real funny, but you saidyouoffered to kisshim. So if he hadn’t stopped it, you would’ve done it, right?”
I paused, really thinking about it. About how close it had been to happening. About how I’d been able to feel Robin trembling beside me and how I’d been nervous, but not in a tummy fluttering way—I’d been nervous that it wouldn’t work. That I wouldn’t be able to give Robin what he wanted. “I guess.”
“You guess.” Matt was quiet again, which wasn’t a good sign. “Okay, so, thought,” he finally said. “Don’t freak out, okay, but I think you should really come back home for a bit.”
“But I’ve only been here a month,” I protested. “I’m set up in a dorm, I have a job here, classes—”
“Skyler Lancelot Evans,” Matt barked, even though that was not, and never had been, my middle name, “if you don’t come home this instant for this intervention that I’ve just decided to stage for you, I’m going to take this up with a higher power.”
I blinked at the phone. “God?”
“Worse.Mom.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I would and I will and so help me I will bro-nap you straight out of California and the whole family will back me up.”
He was still convinced he was right. That at some point I should be content with the fact that I was always going to be different—more different—than everyone around me. That I was doomed to disappoint anyone who dared to like me. But I still hoped that I could change sometime down the line.
“Fine.” I sighed. My classes were Pass/Fail anyway. I’d be able to get away with it. “I’ll book a ticket.” Another thirty-hour bus ride wouldn’t kill me.
I swiped over to my private chat with Delia, wanting to make good on my promise before I could change my mind.
Skyler:sorry I’ve been quiet but I wanted to beat matt to the news: I’m coming home to visit for a few days
Her reply came in almost instantly.
