She hides behind small smiles that don’t quite reach her eyes, murmuring excuses about being tired and disappearing again in her room.
I’ve seen people shut down before, but watching it happen to Noelle hits different.
She’s always been the one holding everything together, the first to laugh, the first to make sure everyone’s okay.
Seeing her crumble like this makes my heart hurt.
Richard pretends not to worry, but I catch him checking on her every change he can, trying his best to coax her out of her spiral.
Callum and Grant have been quieter too, hovering near the hallway that leads to her room, probably fighting the same useless urge I am to fix things.
I don’t know if it’s exhaustion or avoidance that has her drifting so far away from us.
Every time I pass by her door, I want to knock and say something,anything, to pull her back into the light.
But what do you even say to someone who’s had their world turned upside down?
Who’s just been reminded how unsafe this town can really be?
At night, sometimes I hear her crying softly when she thinks everyone’s asleep.
I grip the edge of the counter and tell myself to stay put, because if I go to her now I don’t trust myself to leave her alone.
And with Richard around, there’s no telling what he’ll think if he catches us.
I suppose the only saving grace in all of this is Richard letting us crash here until it’s sorted out.
We were supposed to return home by now, but we’ve been able to stretch out vacation days, working from the hotel, and managing our affairs through technology so we can stay longer.
Every night the three of us take turns commuting between the hotel and their place, making sure someone’s always nearby.
At least one of us stays up until dawn, nursing a lukewarm cup of coffee, staring out the window for headlights that never come, waiting for the sound of tires crunching on hard snow that thankfully hasn’t happened yet.
But this morning, something’s different.
When I walk to the kitchen to grab something to eat after a shower, Noelle’s already there.
She’s sitting at the dining room table still in one of Richard’s sweatshirts.
The light from the window catches on her face, and for the first time in days she doesn’t look like she’s drowning in her pain.
She’s still quiet, but there’s a flicker of life behind her eyes that wasn’t there yesterday.
So, I take a chance.
I slide into the chair across from her and offer what I hope passes for an easy smile. “What do you say we get out of here for a bit? Go Christmas shopping over at the strip mall. The stores are probably hell this close to the holiday, but…might be nice to see something other than these walls for a change. Plus I haven’t gotten anything for Eli yet. Got to top my racecar gift.”
She looks up, blinking slowly at me while trying to process the idea ofoutside.
For a second, I think she’ll say no.
It would be easier to stay cocooned in the safety of the house, to keep the world out and wait for time to pass until the cops call with news.
But then her shoulders drop a little and she gives me this small, tired smile.
“That sounds nice. I could use a distraction.”
It’s the most hopeful thing I’ve heard from her in days.
