I don’t think I’m ready to sit and eat dinner, but I owe it to my family to tell them everything. I don’t like hiding things from them. I’ve held enough back from them because of Martin, and when I got away from him, I promised myself and them that I would always be open and honest with them.
***
We sit down at our booth for dinner, and Gavin sits beside me, and takes my hand in his.
“What can I get you all to drink?” asks the waitress.
“I’ll just have an orange and lemonade, please.”
“No cocktails?” asks Gav cheekily.
I shake my head. “No. Honestly, I’ve drunk my weight in cocktails during my holiday. My liver needs a break,” I joke.
“So, sweetheart, you had a good trip?” My mum breaks the awkward tension around the table.
“I did. It was the best.”
“You don’t seem thrilled to be home, sweetheart.”
My dad reaches over and squeezes my arm.
I nod and Gavin squeezes my hand tighter. I think he knows what’s coming and he’s silently telling me that he’s got my back.
“I’ve got a lot to tell you all. And…” I trail off as the waitress places our drinks down.
Right now, I’m wishing I decided to have an alcoholic drink for Dutch courage.
“What’s on your mind, Harls?” asks Gav, pushing me to continue.
“I…” I take in a deep breath and hold my head up high. If the last four weeks have taught me anything, it’s that I should always face life head on, and not looking down at my hands or feet.
“Sweetheart, you can tell us anything,” my mum says.
“I met someone in Bulgaria. I met two people. Giovani and Lucca. They’re brothers. They lived in Glasgow their whole life, parents from Italy, and now they run the hotel I stayed in. I met them on my first day in Bulgaria, and I’ve spent pretty much my whole holiday in their company.”
“Aww, that’s good. I’m glad you met people and had fun. You’ll have to invite them over the next time they’re home.”
“I’m not staying,” I blurt out.
I wanted to be tactful about this conversation, but I just need to get it over with.
“What do you mean, you’re not staying?” my mum probes.
“I’m moving to Bulgaria, Mum. It has broken my heart leaving Giovani behind today. He was ready to give up everything to come back here, for me, but this doesn’t feel like home for me anymore. It hasn’t for a long time. I don’t want to hurt you, because you’ve all done so much for me, but while I was in Bulgaria, I found out a lot about myself. I’m confident. I felt alive and free. I wasn’t constantly looking over my shoulder. I liked myself for the first time in…” I blow out a breath.
“Did you know about this?” my mum asks Gavin.
He shakes his head. “I knew there were going to be some changes, but I didn’t know to what extent. But I have to say, I’m so proud of you, Harls. Speaking to you the last couple of weeks has been like speaking to a new person. And, for what it’s worth, I like Giovani.”
“You haven’t met him.” I laugh.
“No, I haven’t. But I have stalked him on social media. And if he makes you happy then that’s all that matters to me.”
“Thank you.” I swipe away at the stray tears falling down my cheeks.
My mum and dad are staring at me like I’ve grown horns. I just want them to talk to me, ask questions, scream at me… anything, is better than silence.
“Mum? Dad?” I push for them to say something.
