I wasn’t browsing for love.
I wasn’t scrolling for connection.
I was writing a damn article.
A deep dive into the twisted rabbit hole of online dating. An exposé. A behind-the-scenes peek into how modern romance has become nothing more than gamified heartbreak. I was undercover.Totally.Completely.Professional. Not Desperate.
I say that with the kind of confidence only a woman who cried into her croissant could fake.
The app greeted me with a prompt:
Before we dive into writing your online dating profile, we want to go over a few important things you need to remember. First, always keep the end goal in mind. The goal is to find the perfect person FOR YOU.
I choked slightly on my latte. Not enough to cause a scene. Just enough for a little death inside.
Right. The perfect personfor me.
I glanced around the café. Everyone had their heads down. Scrolling. Typing. Smiling. Frowning. Laughing into the glow of their screens. Little universes, all pretending to connect.
I dropped my gaze back to the phone.
This doesn’t mean it’s a competition to find the “best” person out there. It’s a search for the person who will make you the happiest.
Mmmm. Sure.
Ihadthat person.
And he walked out without even a damn explanation.
So yeah, I’m thrilled.
Secondly, remember: there is no such thing as the perfect profile. Only the perfect profile for YOU.
God. They really like that FOR YOU theme, don’t they? Like slapping a Band-Aid on an amputation.
I snorted. A little too loud. A guy two tables down looked up and then went back to swiping. Probably rejected another girl for having her dog in the profile pic.
Right, Penn. Back to it.
More instructions. More pep talk.
Your headline is your “catchphrase.” The hook. The thing they see before they see YOU.
Jesus. No pressure.
I stared at the blinking cursor. Mocking me. Daring me.
Catchphrase. Right. Okay. Sure.
“Is it worth being sad about it?”
That’s what the app prompted me to think about. That’s what it wanted me to ponder before telling the world who I was.
I took another sip and leaned into it. Fine.
Introduction:
Only love can take this long. Only love can do me wrong. Can you be my knight? Because I would do it again, even with the pain. Because pain is beautiful.
