“Looking for this Jade?” my eyes move back to him slowly. The gun hangs between his fingers with the syringe behind his ear.
“Are you going to kill me?’ I question him as he points the gun toward me.
“No, Jade. There’s a thought though.” He smirks, making my skin crawl. “I’m thinking about playing with you for a little while,” he says in a vile tone.
Pushing myself up to sit, I push my back hard against the headboard of my bed.
“Don’t demons have good ears, Jade? They listen and come running when you least expect it.”
Ha! Like he has ever listened. If he had, he would have stopped kicking me until blood ran from my mouth and nose. He would have heard the gurgled cries as he slit my skin open.
“So, a Demon isn’t something I’d associate you with.” I push out lifting my chin high. I need to seem stronger than I am. Coz at the moment I’m ready to shit my pants.
“A full-blown psychopath fits a lot better; don’t you think?” His eyes widen in the dark, turning from evil sadistic black to fire-red mad.
I take that small shift in power and move to my knees and proceed to pad my way down the bed toward him, noticing his hand shaking that is holding the gun point blank to my head.
“Scared, Carl?” I say my head now pressed against the cool steel of my gun.
“Scared of a little whore like you?” he spits.
“Do it then, Carl. Do it,” I egg him on. I like the feeling. No longer am I a weak woman. I have found my strength and I have found the man who showed me that broken is far more beautiful than afraid.
“Is that what you want, Jade?” he asks.
“To die? No, Carl, not really. It wasn’t one my list of things to do tonight.” I laugh pressing harder. I can feel the barrel indenting into my forehead. “But, hey. Plans change,” I say sarcastically.
He shakes in anger mixed with fear. I can smell it. I’ve spent many times smelling the same scent on myself at his hands. But no more. No fucking more.
No breaking eye contact with him. His irises flicker with something that looks remarkably like shock.
His lips twitch, then his body moves slightly like he is going to come forward into me, the barrel still pressing tight into my skin. I brace for it. Begged for the quiet that will come from having my brains blown all over the wall behind me. It doesn’t come. He shakes, his eyes don’t leave mine and, in that moment, I lunge and snatch the gun from his grip. Twisting it around fast to point it back at him. I stand from the bed taller than I have ever stood before. His eyes bulge at me while a sick smile twists on my lips as I press the barrel into his forehead.
“Psychopaths and narcissists never develop a sense of empathy. Did you know that? I have spent the last few years studying disinhibited and rather egotistical men like you, Carl. I was quite surprised with the findings. Lack of empathy, the inability to love. So, you see you could have never loved me like you claimed to have after, during, before each and every single time you abused me. Raped me. Kicked me. Hit me. Cut me. Stabbed me, leaving me for dead!”
His mouth opens and closes looking at me, a smirk playing on his lips is the only sign he gives.
“Oh, Carl, can’t speak? Are your vocal cords paralyzed in horror from me? My words? My strength? Just like I was each time you laid into me. Paralyzed. My screams suffocated with the sound of your fists on my skin.”
He cracks out his neck is the only movement he makes.
“Well, a little bit of pain never hurt anyone, Jade. It kinda made me feel good.” He breathes.
“Oh, felt good did it?” I drag the gun from his forehead, down to the dip in his throat that sits above his clavicle.
“What we had was beautiful, Jade. It was a type of art. You just didn’t see it.” His smile splits over his disgusting face.
“Didn’t realize this was beautiful?’ I ripped up my shirt, showing him the angry, red, jiggered scar that graced my abdomen from his knife.
“This here is where you cut out my baby. Our baby. From my body in a rage. After kicking me for what felt like hours until I passed out and woke to the pain of your knife digging into my womb.”
I can feel the hot tears rolling into the back of my eyes. I blink them away, as I don’t want to allow him to see them. I will not shed any more tears on this man. But my body deceives me and as I go to wipe them away with my free hand, he takes that slight second to jab out his arm and wrap his fingers tightly around my throat.I pull but he moves with me. The gun is still pressed tight into the dip in his throat as his fingers constrict my windpipe.
“So, you’re here to punish me for your sins are you, Carl?” His grip is old like his blood matching his soul. I can feel the air leaving my body, my lungs beginning to flicker with heat as they beg for air.
“I’m here to fuck up everything that is you, Jade. And him. That biker? I was hoping he would fly in through the door to save you.” His head tilts to the side as I press the gun deeper. One pull of the trigger and he would be dead right in front of me. But a bullet is too quick. I want him to suffer. I feel my body fading and there is no way I wanna die at his hands.
Not tonight.
