“You're still sitting here calling out to her, 81. You’re still so fixated with walking with shadow's, holding them so close. I’m not denying that you’re in love, but I think you’re in love with the memory and the pain of what it could have been. Take a chance with this and let’s see if we can have that crazy type of love. But somehow still live with all that breaks our hearts.”
I can’t look at her. She speaks so much truth that her words burn my skin. Branding me with truth while I continue to seek the lies to stain me.
“I will suffer with you every second, 81, until you find the strength to step into the light. And that’s okay because we all have scars. I know that there will be days where my demons speak louder than your words, but you will be with me.”
She moves and lowers herself into my arms. She rests her head on my shoulder as I move my hands around her and we do nothing for a while but lay there inside each other breathing, thinking and feeling.
“She holds so much of my damaged heart and I feel that I can’t get closure from what she did, how she choose to fucking exit.” I finally break the silence.
“That’s okay, babe, because we will fuck shit up together. I will help you seek the closure needed and until that day comes you will lose yourself in me. Take what you need from me to feel more human and less beast.”
I have no answer for her, all I can do is draw her head back from my shoulder flip her over onto her back, so I'm laying on top of her, and kiss her. Take her lips in mine and breath all that I am into her. I kiss her because I want to. I kiss her because I need to. I kiss her because kissing her is starting to make me feel like I have found something I wasn’t really aware I've been looking for. Mostly I kiss her because every time she kisses me back, I feel her settling a piece of herself even more deeply inside of me, suffocating the screaming coming from Hannah as she paces inside the walls of my mind
“Jade, I thought I could lose everything but not her. But now I know that I could lose everything. But not you. Oh god, little bird, not you.”
I breath into her mouth I am not the controlled killer. The stone-cold beast that the world has made. I’m not the biker in leather, with her I am just Henry. I fucking feel alive when I’m with her. I’m not drowning when she’s around.
“Love can heal wounds, 81, but some scars last forever. And that’s fine. I’m not going anywhere, I will stay. I don’t know how many times I need to say it.” I can tell she is getting tired of this dance with me. I’m not normal. I’m a fucked-up nightmare and it’s hard living inside this body with the shit I’ve done, seen, lived through.
“You’re a tornado, little bird, with pretty eyes and a heartbeat.”
“Well, this tornado wants a shower and some coffee,” she says as she pushes me off her and slips from the bed naked, not even attempting to cover her scars from me. Oh, how shit has changed and I’m liking it a lot.
“I love you; do you know that I fucking love you?” I exhale as I watch her walk from my bed toward the bathroom. I'm so in love with her that I’d fucking take a bullet for her, I’d kill for her, I’d lay it all down for that beautiful, unique human right there walking away with her perky white ass, so fucking delicious. But it would look better with my handprints on them cheeks and my cock forced inside her ass. But fuck me, my first love is causing me to think too much. She’s fucking screaming at me, making it hard to hear anything but her goddamn voice.
My phone rings again buzzing over the wood of the bedside table. I hear it. I can feel it. Answering it isn’t on the top of my list of things to do. Not when I can see her, the door to the bathroom open, her body standing under the hot stream of water. She is running her hands through her hair as the water cascades down the line of her body. My cock grows hard pressing against the sheet covering me.
Ripping the sheet back, my cock stands to its full length, begging for me to sink him into her wet folds. Who am I to deny him such intoxicating pleasure? I stalk toward the bathroom, then lean against the door admiring the view. Her soft as silk body glistens with droplets of water as she used my shampoo to wash her hair. She smells of me and she has her own unique smell, just as her soul is unique. This woman is a beautiful enigma and I can’t wait to unfold her piece by stunningly painful beautiful piece.
“You took your time,” she says her sweet voice dripping in sexual need calls out. I watch her as she slowly turns her body that’s screaming for my handprints all over it. Her eyes begging me to come closer as her nipples harden under my stare.
“You going to just stand there and look, 81, or are you going to come in and fuck me as hard as your cock is telling your mind it wants to.”
"Where the fuck has my quiet little bird gone?" I throw her a grin as I watch her cup “her full breasts pushing them together as her fingers twist her nipples.
“She’s still here, just this one wants that cock and now.”
“Oh, little bird, you’re ready to come again, are you?” I question her as I step into the hot stream of water pushing her up against the shower wall. A small yelp leaves her body, but her smile says anything but scared.
“Do I make you fucking wet, little bird?” I taunt in her ear as I press my fingers into her hot cunt. It’s so wet it is dripping for me.
Taking in a deep as fuck breath, I fight to get myself under control. But fuck me, it’s useless. She’s ruined me and her hot wet pussy is calling out my name. I can’t wait any longer to hear my name fall from her sweet as sin lips as I pound into her.
Her body falls back to the wall as fire blazes inside her eyes. I lean in to her my fingers diving deeper inside her folds. Leaning closer till her hot breath is on my lips, her mouth parted teasing me so I press my lips to hers. For a second, pure utter shock causes my heart to stop then kick back into irregular beats. She feels it too. I can tell by the way her breath has caught in her chest; her body arched off the shower wall pressing my fingers further inside.
My body’s taut muscles flex as her body tenses with mine before falling away slowly and relaxing into more than just my touch. Our kiss deepens with a need to feed on each other. Our bodies align, as I breathe deeply through my nose, her hot breath caressing my skin as she consumes me with just one kiss. It feels like I should be consuming her, driving her wild with need, but this woman has a power over me.
She pulls back slightly as I think of all that I wanna do to her, her tongue glides tentatively over my bottom lip, testing, teasing, sampling me as I quicken the pace of my fingers sliding in and out of her cunt. Her body moves with my fingers. Her breathing quickens and a mewl leaves her and begins to tip me over into a different time and space. I lift her with my free hand, her legs wrap around my waist.
Slipping my fingers from her cunt, I lick her arousal from my fingers with my greedy tongue as she watches me with wide eyes. I lower my hand and scoop more from her I place my fingertips on her bottom lip. Her eyes burn with desire and the edges are incased with self-consciousness. “Don’t over think it, little bird. Just let go.” She slightly nods her head. Closing her eyes, she parts her lips for me to press my fingers inside.
“Open your eyes, Jade. I want to see you while you taste your arousal.” My voice is heavy as my cock is eager to dive inside her wet folds and fuck her hard.
Her eyes flutter open, the amber irises dancing with fire. I lose all sense of time when I look into the depths of her soul. All I wanna do is touch her, feel her watch all the sunrises and sets, break rules and live with the sin made for angels who the world had broken.
Her eyes never leave mine. As she licks my fingers clean, small moans escape around my fingers from her mouth. She's pure ecstasy, and she's making the beast in me want to do bad motherfucking things to her little body. I want to own her body, break her soul and build her back into the sick fiend that I am, that I need and that my body craves.
“I’m going to fucking destroy you, Jade, and I know it. I don’t want to, believe me, baby girl. I don’t wanna, but hell, baby, I can’t stop it. I don’t wanna, but I’m afraid I can’t be the gentle you need. When I was born to be a beast the world shaped me into a nasty demon.”
