My mind was more scarred than most though, the ruined skin on my body was only the tip of the iceberg that lay beneath. Which held me back from being me… from being what I was destined to be. I would die for her over and over again to know that she was mine, to have her back. I have shed tears for her, only to wish I could wash away her pain and drown her fears.
Now, I have a new obsession that I sit and stare at, my fingers itching to touch, my body praying to take her. If I hadn’t already sold my soul to the devil for a one-way ticket to hell, then I would have to feel her breath on my ruined skin.
But I’m a killer. Burnt. Broken. I’m not what she wants. I’d lie to her, steal from her, have her crawling on her hands and knees for me until I have violated that mind and frozen the taste of my cock inside her until she believes that my broken soul was hers to keep, but in reality, it belonged to a ghost. A ghost that would end up killing us both. I am doing time inside the frozen memories of my mind and as hard as I fought, I can’t make room for her.
Two years had gone by without it being this bad.
But Jade, my new obsession… that little bird, she had changed it all. She was pure, she teased me with those tiny fleeting moments that I should not have. The moments that I had once before, with the beginning that was something so beautiful, it took the oxygen from my lungs and replaced it with a burning heat. Moments that thrust the past back at me and had my ruined skin rippling with agony, so internal I had to check to make sure it was not charred and blackened like the outside of me.
Inhaling deep on a smoke the burn filling my burnt lungs a welcome feeling as thoughts thump inside my head of each, and every encounter I have had with the beautiful little bird so far.
I had nearly taken Jade over my shoulder four nights ago and gone up the stairs and done what I’d been waiting to do since I’d seen her trying to wrestle with that huge marble table inside her shop.
Fuck her senseless.
Fuck her into the hell that I'm living in, so she's stuck there with me dancing inside the flames for however long that I want her there.
No... only until I have ruined her.
But I didn’t. I walked away before I could condemn her to the pits of a blazing hell inside my arms.
And because I have fought off that needs, I'm now battling with a stronger one.
It’d beenthree hundred and forty-five thousand six hundred seconds since he’d left her standing on her doorstep. She’s shown me without even knowing exactly what I need to stain my soul with because I shouldn’t be wanting to taint a woman as delicate as her, but my god I do. My body craves her. Three hundred and forty-five thousand six hundred seconds of the internal need for a needle to numb all the raging fire whirling inside from the unknown. Why do i torment myself and another with my fucked up crazy?
“You seem different,” The voice of my anchor, Miss Timberly says. She walks up behind me as I'm standing outside Ghosts tattoo parlour. I watch her lean against my bike as I contemplate how I'm going to walk over there, greet her and get flowers to take to the love I had lost. Whose eyes surge through my mind each time I try to think about anything but her.
“I’m not different,” I bark I feel Timberly’s blunt gaze on the back of my head, and I know she's giving me her signature eyebrow raise with her hand on her hip. My fists clench at my sides as the smoke floats up around me from sitting in my mouth.
“So, it has nothing to do with that beautiful little lady over there” she asks sweetly. I turn and glare at her.
“No, not at all, little lady, not at fucking all.” I smirk as she shakes her head.
“We have a love triangle, don’t we?” Timberly mouths to me as I turn to watch the stunning silhouette place the long stems of purple iris into a large black bucket. The sun adding a brilliant glow to her skin, highlighting the delicate features of her face.
“Huh?”
“Love triangle. You, her and your ghost laced with a side of your dark demons, so it is worse than a love triangle. She’s not the one you lost though, 81”
“Yeah, but she’s a luxury I can’t have.”
“Why?” she questions me, her warmth encasing my body as she steps closer to me.
“Because I will overdose on her and kill us both,” I say to her, then turn, lean down and kiss her forehead.
“Gotta go, babe, got a place to be.”
Pushing off my bike I march over to the little bird that is wiping her hair from her forehead, exposing that scar that I still have to enquire about.
“Sup, little lady, bunch of purple iris and baby’s breath to go,” I snap out faster than I intended, but I have to get outta her bubble fast before it suffocates me and makes today harder than it already is.
“Right.”she says. as she fans her bangs down over her scar, shielding her eyes from me also.
My aching body can’t handle the guilt it is feeling right now. I should’ve known better than to come here. My fucking cold, dead heart was bleeding inside my chest.
“Problem?” I question her as I can feel Tim behind me her eyes boring into my back. I can feel the fire inside them scorching the already burnt skin.
Jade spins on me, giving me a look that shocks me as it passes over her beautiful features.
