“I have it with ice and lime, that’s all I can offer, sorry.”
Her sweet voice chimes out, “Fine by me. This drinking is all new to me and I kinda like it.” She laughs out as I do a heavy over ice pour, squeeze some fresh lime and then drop in two nice slices of the lime to really top it off. I take a sip as I pass her one, her hand reaches for it as I fall down on my oversized and over-stuffed couch.
“Hey, I’m so sorry about the melt down.” I watch her as she takes a sip from her glass.
“Shit, this is delish, girl,” she coos out taking a larger sip this time before her eyes flicker to mine.
“And really, girl, it’s fine. We all have moments and when you’re ready I’d love to hear your story.” I watch her as she looks out over at the building across the street. “We all have a dark that controls us,” she says with a pain in her voice that has my heart hurting.
“Do we?” I take a sip from my glass “Do we what, doll?” I say again.
“Some a little bit more fucked than others,” she adds in and that has me thinking what her story is hers and this man called Ghost and 81.
“Hey, look, we are having a cookout tonight at the club. Wanna come?” I raise my brow at her while choking on my drink.
“Me?” Looking around, she looks back at me “Well, yes. You see anyone else here?” Her tone is light, her expression funny, causing me to laugh.
“Well, no, I suppose not.” A smile breaks over her face “So you will come?” another question requiring a polite answer.
“Um, shit. I don’t think I can?” I say not looking at her.
“Sure, you can. Or do you have like some bubbling social life I know nothing about. I have watched you for a week now. That is seven days of you eating alone, coming home alone, working alone, sleeping alone. I know things.” Panic bubbles up inside me as I search her eyes.
“Babes, chill. It’s what I do, I watch people. I’m new to this life too. I was locked away, abused, raped and drugged then kidnapped. Then I had to save my man over there from a crazed club whore who tried to kill him with a hot shot. So, do not judge us, ok?”
Running my fingers over the small beads of condensation from the glass over the stiff denim of my jeans, I think about this admission and what it would be like to have friends again. She just shared, really overshared and she did not have to. Most people say words for the sake of saying words, but she just gave me more than anyone has in the two years since I ran. It is hard to come out of hiding when hiding is the only thing keeping you alive.
“I don’t do people, friends, humans,” I blurt out slamming my eyes shut, hating myself for letting my guard down around her, them, him.
“Girl, believe me, I get it. Like when I first meet Ghost and he took me to this club I was like whoa, oh hell no. People that can judge me and tear me to pieces. But you know what? I sat back and seen that they are like me and we all have stories and a lot of them are similar, remarkably similar. These guys are all about family though, babes.”
Rolling the glass in between my hands, the liquid rolls up and around the sides of the glass. The silence between us is heavy, so heavy. I feel it seeping in, adding a suffocating feeling to my space that I have made safe from the outside world… from people.
“You know numbness is more dangerous than pain.” I look up at this beautiful woman sitting across from me.
“Never be scared to feel, babe,” she says again, her tone is so light… so carefree, it makes me jealous at the sound. I wish I could just breathe, talk, move, and live like her.
“Numb is all I have,” I say to her before I even realize the words have left my tongue. “I’m so paralyzed with fear and anxiety that it kills me from the inside.” She moves slightly. Fluid movements not jerky, angry ones, but I still shift to the edge of the seat in fear for the unknown, ready to brace myself against whatever comes.
“I used to be so scared to live, that I would wish to die. I was locked inside a hell, a box of dark memories and nightmares, but Ghost and the Reapers found me and I was no longer lost,” she mouths so softly to me that I lean forward to hear the words fall from her lips. Her eyes are a stunning, glass-blue you could drown in them.
“The world can really exhaust you, babe.” Her fingers lace over the tops of mine.
“I really do feel exhausted from more than the world” I say back to her.
“Even more reason to come to the cookout.” She stands pulling down at her hoodie with the logo that the boys have on their… what are they, leather jackets? I’m certain they have a different name.
“Pick you up in an hour, babes. Dress code is laid back.” She winks at me, walks from the open room and down the stairs to the door. Sitting there, I look into the space that she was just occupying like a goldfish mouth gaping open, gasping for air. No freaking way was I going anywhere. Let alone a biker pad with god knows who doing god knows what with god knows how many germs and STD’s.
Chapter Six
Jade
Well, how wrong was I! Timberly turned up an hour later, her black hair falling in long curls wearing tight black, ripped jeans, red boots and a red tank tied in a knot at the side. Her leather jacket had a Property of Ghost badge and that same logo again.
“Is this like your ID, like a puppy with its owners name on the collar?” I say to her as she stands there looking at me. Her hand goes to her hip, her red lips pouting at me as her stunning eyes narrow at me.
“You’re not dressed,” she states the obvious.
