Senna
Watching Luca peel out of the clubhouse lot was difficult, knowing something bad happened in church. But the way he looked at me as he fired up his bike, gutted me. As if he couldn’t stand the sight of me. The pained look in his beautiful gray eyes undid me. If it wasn’t for my sister, I would be face down in the gravel. Saylor and Lane helped me into the clubhouse bypassing the onlookers, curious of what has happened to one of the club princesses.
We make it to my room and Saylor lays me down on the bed, pulling off my boots and jean shorts. Her and Lane exchange a few words but I’m too lost in my head to understand what they are saying. Honestly, I don’t give two shits. The pain that is coursing through my body is all I can focus on. The rejection that is tearing my heart in two.
I feel Saylor move under the covers beside me, pulling me to her and the damn breaks. Tears pour from my eyes as I sob into my sister’s chest. The noises coming from me are from deep within. If I didn’t know better, I’d think a dying animal was outside my window. Saylor runs her hand over my hair soothingly, attempting to calm me down.
In my haze of anguish and misery I don’t hear the door open or feel anyone climb into the bed behind me. I smell her before she wraps me in her arms, consoling me. She always smells like sugar and sunshine. They are my two favorite smells. I relate them to love and comfort. How lucky are we to have this amazing woman in our lives?
Mom just holds me letting me work through my emotions. I have no idea how long I’ve been crying and sobbing into her. She doesn’t talk, she just lets me feel all these unbearable emotions. Once the sobbing has stopped and the tears are dried up, she moves to sit up and I do the same.
“What happened Senna?” she asks, wiping my face with a warm washcloth that I’m assuming Saylor fetched from my in-suite bathroom. I really don’t want to tell her about Luca and me, but I know she won’t let this go until I do. One thing I know about mom, she would never tell Dad about the talk we are about to have.
“Oh, you know just the usual. My pining over a man who I’ll never have. Seeing the side of him that he only shows to the brothers and his blatant rejection. Like I said, the usual,” I say with as much sass as I can muster.
Mom looks at me as if she knows I’m leaving out important details. I am not talking to her about what we did on Devil’s peak. Nope, no way in hell!
“We may have fooled around before all the shit went down with the prospect, okay. Geesh!” I throw my arms up exasperated and just plain old pissed off. After what he did to me, he turns around and acts like that.
God he’s such an asshole!
“I know a lot has happened in the past few weeks. Your father has told me the bare minimum, but I know this is weighing on him and the club. I know how Luca feels about you and vice versa. He is at war with himself, sweetheart, between his love for the club and his love for you.”
“Love? Yeah right mom. I may love him, but he doesn’t feel the same toward me. It’s ingrained in him. The club princesses are off limits.”
“That may be true, but that doesn’t mean he listened. I mean you ‘fooled around’ earlier right? Is that being off limits?” she asks.
Huh... I guess not.
“It doesn’t matter, mom. When he left earlier it was like he couldn’t stand to even look at me. I can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair that I can’t be with him. I won’t make him choose between me and the club. The brotherhood will always be number one to him, as it should be.” I’ve made my decision and no matter what happens from here on out, Luca Warren will never be mine.
Dad sat Saylor and I down a few days ago to go over the plan for us to move to the safe house. The club has three separate houses for us. Mom will be in one, Lane and her mom, Jolee, will be in the second, and Saylor and I in the third. Each house will have a member and a prospect at all times.
Only club members know where the houses are and we will be blindfolded when they move us, including the prospects. The reason is because they aren’t members and can’t be trusted not to squeal, if caught by the enemy.
I can handle the lockdown in the clubhouse and even being moved to an undisclosed house with my sister. I understand the need for the club to protect us since we were directly targeted. What burns my ass is that my protector is Luca. GAH! Why? What did I do in a past life to deserve such torture? I’d almost rather be kidnapped by the enemy and tortured than be stuck in a secluded house for who knows how long with the man I love but can’t ever have. God, I hate my life.
The only good in all of this, I get to have my sister with me. She will be the only way I can stay sane. If I was alone with him, I would surely go insane. She is in her own kind of hell. Yep, her protector is none other than Capone. This is going to suck major monkey balls!
It’s been four days since I broke down and I’ve only seen Luca twice in passing. The asshole- which is how I will refer to him from now on- won’t even look at me. Maybe I’ll change it to fucking asshole- FA. Thinking back over all the shit he has done to make me feel shitty. Yep, FA it is.
Tomorrow, we will be moving to the safe houses and mine and Saylor’s torture will begin, so what are we doing you ask? Well, getting shitfaced of course. I mean we are locked in this damn clubhouse unable to go anywhere, and we’ll be stuck in a secret house with the men we want but can’t have, so yeah, we’re drinking.
Saylor pours us another shot and we clink glasses. I down the yummy brown liquid allowing the warmth to spread throughout my body. Damn this is what I needed. To escape the constant pain over FA and the ensuing pain that being locked in the same house with him will surely bring. Right now, I can just be Senna and fuck everything else. I’ll worry about that shit in the morning.
Saylor and I consume almost an entire bottle of whiskey and I’ve lost count of the beers I’ve drank. To say I’m drunk would be an understatement. The move is going to blow with the hangover from hell that I’ll no doubt be graced with in the morning. The porcelain god and myself will become good friends, I’m afraid.
Chapter Fourteen
Viper
Pushing the headphonesinto my ears and flicking my screen unlocked Senna's face, sleeping yet stunningly beautiful face, greets me as I look for my music list.
Scrolling through till I find the playlist I'm after. Five Finger Death Punch and their songBlue in Blackstarts to smash out into my eardrums sending a welcome warmth of normality over my tense and stained body.
Lifting the forty-pound weight discs on the leg press machine, making it an even one hundred and twenty on each side, I sit down onto the cool leather seat and push out my pent-up anger. Next, I'll do a forty-minute kickboxing set. I have been working out every day since I first arrived here last week sometime. I just couldn't go back, not after all that. I needed time. Still need time. Fuck, last week I had my mind made up to go rogue, to be nomad and just get my fucking shit in order. Then she happened. All sexy and alluring and shit. Showing me why I fell in love with her in the first place. Then I fucked it along with the sour gun deal that I didn't wanna take in the first place.
Day one, I walked in at 3am after running from my club. The look of destruction I left in Senna's eyes after turning her away made me sit on the outskirts of town at a seedy bar and drink cheap whisky and listen to some badass karaoke while a chick I didn't even know sucked me off under the table. I then took her filthy ass to the bathroom and fucked her so hard she was left in a shaking mess on the dirty bathroom floor not remembering her name.
