I was paralyzed, not knowing what I could do. I wanted to take away her pain, make her happy so she’s still be with me. I didn’t mind watching her dance in the cold. I loved watching her and God knew I loved her - it wasn’t enough.
“Kaden baby.” My sweetheart’s voice washed over me, her fingers rolled up the hem of my shirt as we danced in the moonlight.“I'm so sorry.”
“For what, sweetheart?” I frowned, my brows knitted together.
“For being this.” Her voice broke around me as she held up a bottle of beer.
“You’re much more than you think you are, sweetheart.”
Her hands crashed into my chest, pain laced her sweet emerald eyes.I grabbedher wrists to stop the attack, the beer crashed to the floor and shattered. The harsh smell of yeast hit the air.
“You know what, sweetheart?” I spun her in my arms and wrapped my arms tightly around her.
Her back pressed against my front, anger radiated from her.
“What, Kaden?” Her tone was harsh, she was on the edge of a break down.
“What hurts the most, Ari, is being so close to you and having you walk away. You’re more than the pain you feel. More than the fucking drinking.”
“Fuck you, Kaden.” She struggled violently in my arms.
She can't hear me. She refuses to hear me. Trapped in an alcoholic rage, unable to see I’m only trying to love her. She won’t let me in.
“Watching you fade away is killing me, Ari.”
“Killing you? That’s funny, why are you still around when I keep telling you to fucking leave?”
I slid down the wall, wrapping my legs over hers, holding her tight in my embrace. She would be lethal if I released her. We needed to ride out the storm of drunk Ari, it was all I could do in that moment.
“I know you're in there, Ari. I know you don't mean what you say. It’s the drink talking.”
“I fucking hate you.” Hate laces her tone, it breaks my heart.
“That’s okay, I love you.” I murmured against her neck.
Her head thrashed back and forth, connecting with my nose. A loud crack sounded and tears of pain pooled behind my eyes. Blood trickled from my nose. Ari continued to scream and thrash in my arms. Like usual, I sucked it up and held tight to the woman I loved. My wife. My world. The Ari I fell in love with and still love is in there somewhere. I will never allow the beer to take her from me.
I settled in for a dark night. When I’d returned home, I knew she’d probably been drinking for most of the day, judging by the empty beer bottles strewn over the front porch.
“Remember the night we first met, sweetheart? In a bar downtown. You grabbed me from behind, pulled me onto the dance floor and we danced until our feet were sore.”
Her thrashing settled
“You spun me around and around on the middle of the dance floor, all eyes were on us. They didn’t know we hadn't even hooked up at that stage.”
Her fingers ran over mine and her head fell back against my chest.
“It was later in the night when our lips finally met. We were outside, the cool air licked at our skin, cooling us down. You leaned back on the hood of myChevyand my lips ran over yours – gently at first and then I wanted to devour you. I knew then I was going to marry you. The taste of your cherry gloss lips met the smoky taste of mine. It felt like fucking heaven, sweetheart, it still does, so please don’t fight me.”
“Kaden.” Her speech was slurred “You deserve so much more than a drunken mess.”
Pain shot through me hard. “No, sweetheart, you deserve more than the disease which is crippling you.”
I closed my eyes and breathed her in, she always pulls me back. I buried my nose in her hair, her scent is calming. I pull her deeper into me, not ever wanting to let my baby go. I would fight the demons for her and make them my own, if it meant saving her.
I stiffen, it’s not my baby I smell. It’s something harsh, sterile. Fear hits me when I look down and Ari isn't in my arms. Her scent no longer surrounds me and her weight is gone.
I search for her, call her name, but I’m greeted only with darkness. Something warm slides down my heated cheek, leaving a cooling path. A tear, leaving my eye without permission.
