Her finger pushed under my chin and tilted my head up so she could look into my eyes. “For?”
“This.” I waved my hands around us. “The mess, what you saw.” My thumb trailed lightly over her eye and cheek.
Gracie flinched at my touch.
“Maybe he’s right.”
“Who?” Her voice was sharp.
“The Doc. Maybe he’s right. I couldn’t save her and I couldn’t save you. Look at you. Look at what he’s done. I couldn’t be there to help.”
Gracie pulled me close to her face and I lowered mine into the crook of her neck, the scents of vanilla and peaches washed over me, sending my mind into the realm of ecstasy. My body vibrated with emotions.
“I just want to love you.” I couldn’t accept I may lose this woman because of who I was.
The soft warmth of her hands cupped my face, her eyes swam with emotion. Before I could say anything else, she lowered her lips to mine and kissed me passionately, almost violently. Taking all I had to give. Giving me everything she has. Showing me, she is giving us both a chance.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
KADEN
Rehab was brutal.
Who knew walking through parallel bars could be so fucking painful? Looking back, the only times I had actually walked without assistance was when I’d been trying to keep Gracie from leaving and when I’d smacked, Chris, the prized prick in his jaw.
The core strengthening and light weights to help regain some upper body strength caused fire to burn through me, the feeling a welcomed sensation. Pain from training had always been my friend.
It had helped during dark times when I’d been pulled into the pits of hell. I had loved it. But this pain was different. It was fucking excruciating. It made me realise I was human. I was broken.
My body was failing me after the attack on my unit and I couldn’t allow it.
I needed to return to strength, to address my team. Two of my men had been killed and I had yet to speak with their families. One of the men had saved my fucking life and I needed to make sure his family knew of his bravery.
I needed to express my pain, guilt and apologize to them. I needed closure.
Lilla would be broken, I vowed to support her and baby Ava.
I closed my eyes and turned the water to scalding hot, allowing the heat to burn into my sensitized skin, attempting to burn all feeling and memories from the map of my body. Willing all past mistakes, guilt, regrets to wash down the drain.
I hobbled from the ensuite bathroom to the bedroom area. The hot water had helped to ease some of the constant pain I now felt after a full day’s rehab.
Beads of water trickled from my wet hair down my torso.
I studied myself in the mirror, staring at what was once my toned and lean physique. I’d lost a lot of muscle since being stuck in bed.
I would be adding in heavier weights whether physio like it or not. I would be doing shit my way. I wasn’t going to allow some young guy to tell me how to train my body. I knew how to do that - hard, fast, brutal and feed it.
A knock sounded at the door as I was spraying Hugo boss over my naked chest.
“ Yo, come in.”
I spun around when I heard a gasp to find Gracie staring at me. Her cheeks turned pink as her gaze roamed over my body. I felt myself harden on seeing the hunger in her eyes.
“Um. Shit. Um, sorry.” Gracie twisted her fingers in front of her.
I laughed at her show of embarrassment. “It’s okay, babe.”
I step towards her, but she holds a plastic bag up between us, halting my intention to wrap her in my arms.
