Stepping from the hallway, I found the front door was closed and the house appeared to be empty. It was only me in the house, I let out the breath I’d been holding, air swirled around me and dots formed at the backs of my eyes caused by the anxiety crippling my body.
I held onto the door jamb and took a few steadying breaths.
While calming myself down, I took a close look at who I had become – scared, a shaking mess startled at the softest sound. Terrified by the slightest rise in a man’s voice.
Flicking the jug on to heat water, I stood and watched until the clear, blue glass lit up and the water began to bubble and jump, reminding me a lot of my anxiety.
Taking my coffee, I headed back to my room, I had no desire to do anything. A week off work and I didn’t want to do anything but heal my face and tape my shattered soul back together, so I could walk back into work with my head held high. I didn’t want them to know I’d been beaten to a pulp.
I knew it would take a lot longer than a week to heal, put the pieces back together. Most of the bruising will have disappeared, what hasn’t could be covered with concealer. The burst blood vessels in my eye would take a while longer and harder to hide.
I dropped down onto the bed, it was soft like a cloud – the cover was white with small iris flowers dotted over it. I also kept a large number of pillows on it for decoration.
My memory floated back to when I came home with the cover and some of the pillows. Ben was not impressed -
“Why must you question my masculinity by constantly making the house so girly, Gracie?”
Ben’s arms wrapped around me and he pulled me down onto the bed with a soft thud.
The smell of his scent in the air mixed and took me deeper back. I ran my hands through my hair. I could almost smell him - smell that day, feel it wash over my skin as the tingles of loving him sank into the deep recess of my heart.
I was giggling as he tickled me and rolled me over onto my back, his body straddled me. His eyes, hooded with lust, bored into mine. So much love, we loved to the point of death.
“You haven’t answered.” He laughed out over me, nipped my nose with his teeth as his hands slid up the insides of my shirt before hitting my skin and causing goose bumps to break out.
“Look at all this, there must be a zillion pillows in all shapes and sizes thrown all over the bed and this…” He picked up a handful of the beautiful duvet. “What is this, flowers for fuck sake?” My eyes moved from his to the duvet.
“Well my very masculine husband, it’s a white and purple duvet cover with iris flowers painted on it. It’s from Bed and Beyond.”
His hands cupped my breasts, my nipples peaked and my eyes locked on his. He was biting his lip. My core craved him and his smoldering look sent me to the edge
“We can barely move with all this on the bed and fuck, it will take like ten minutes to take them off before we go to bed each night.”
My hands gripped his hips and pulled him close.
“Or….” he wiggled his eyebrows at me
“….we could do this each night.” Using the weight of his body, he pushed me into the bed. His mouth crushed against mine and we intertwined in a dance of ecstasy which took my breath away and made me forget his name.
I slammed my fists into the bed, the memory left my mind, tears stained my cheeks. I screamed out in frustration, I didn’t want these memories of the man I once had, assaulting me.
My reflection in the wall mirror showed a pale, gaunt woman with a massive red-purple eye. I hated how I looked. I was dressed in track pants and a tank top, my silk robe around me. My hair was a mess, knotted and messy. I was angered by what he had done to me. I screamed again, ripped the duvet from the bed and began tearing at it. The pillows followed, I was surprised by my strength.
Fuck him.
Fuck this place.
Fuck the memories.
I dropped to the floor among a pile of torn and tattered bedding. Feathers wafted and floated around me.
Curling into the fetal position, I cried. Cried for me.
For him.
For Kaden.
For who I was and for who I have become.
