Gracie-May Reynolds had opened my eyes to the beauty of life and I want to share it with her. Wrap her in my arms, take her to the edge of the world and back again.
My eyes had been closed while I travelled through the walls of my mind, checking all the hidey holes where I had hidden painful memories. They were the places where Ari lived, the places where I tucked her away to keep her alive. I had punished myself for so long - for the way she lived before she finally succeeded in taking herself from this side of the heavens.
I sensed her before seeing her. I kept my eyes closed and soaked in the warmth of her aura. As soon as she entered a room, you felt her. She sucked the cold out and replaced it with heat like hot lava which consumed so much of you. I laid still, so still and listened to her as she moved, as she breathed, practically holding my own breath, so I could experience all that was her. My fingers itched to touch her, to reach out and pull her into me. She had me under her spell. I saw the curve of her silhouette behind my eyelids as she stood by the side of my bed. Her fingers ran up my body, which now hummed beneath the sheet. She was the only woman, other than Ari, who could have the beast I had built crumble in their hands. I was done trying to be the killer, the machine I’d been groomed to be. I wanted to just be, to fall into the beautiful woman with exquisite ocean coloured blue eyes.
“I should go, I shouldn’t be here falling in love with you.” Her voice was just above a whisper.
I willed my body to remain still, to wait for any further admissions while she thought I was asleep.
“You’re the one I have wanted all my life and you have come into it when I’m completely lost. All I want to do is drink from you.”
There was a shadow of regret in her words, I opened my eyes and saw the ghosts of a past haunting her iris’, they were mirrors of mine. I found myself lying awake at night when she wasn’t here, asking myself how I could save her from what it was which clouded her sweet mind.
Her fingers trailed slowly up my body until they reached the bare skin of my arm. They circled the fresh wounds which would now live on my skin as a constant reminder of a life filled with killing, the need to feel and remember.
I had my own shadows and ghosts, I hoped with Gracie-May’s help I could free them.
˜*˜
Her fingers trailed like a wild fire over my arm until they reached the flesh of my collarbone. My cock awoke beneath her sensual touch, a touch I hadn’t felt in a very long time. She was definitely making it difficult to lay still, to not pull her into the bed with me.
Her breath hitched when she spoke again, her voice fell softly over me, “I would never do you wrong, Kaden. From the moment I lay eyes on you, I knew I wanted you. Wanted to love you and heal you. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, to help you feel my love. I’m just not sure my heart can withstand it.”
The storm raging in her body was palpable, she was walking down the highway of regret and guilt, I knew it well. She had something inside her which was holding her back.
She stepped closer to me, her fingernails danced over the taut flesh of my neck. I was trying so hard to remain in control, fuck me, it was a whole lot harder than I’d ever thought possible.
“Both of us are fighting an internal battle, Kaden. I’m trying not to fall for you because I’m married and you’re living in the arms of a ghost who would kill us both if I got too close. I know my life before you would scare you away.”
The pain in her voice was heartbreaking, her hand cupped the side of my face. A whisper breeze from the slightly ajar window sent a wave of her scent over me - peaches and vanilla, my new favorite scents.
I felt a growl vibrating up my body, my mind was swimming. I wished she’d have a little faith in herself, in me, in us. I wanted her to understand, if she fell, I would catch her.
Secrets killed, lies burned, but love that was a passionate fire which would extinguish even the dark.
“I'm numb to the pain he causes now. I'm numb to his abuse. My faith in our marriage, the love I once had from him is long gone, but I just can't seem to find the end.”
Her hand left my face, the warmth instantly replaced by cold. I feel an overwhelming need to pull her into me, to suck the fucking venom from her.
I’d heard talk, gossip, since I’d been in the hospital, of what she endures. Nurses and doctors alike talk about her. Gracie-May pretends to ignore it, hoping they’ll leave her alone, but the gossip continues.
Fools.
“The worst possible thing that can happen to a person, happened to me. I loved him and he broke me. He hasn’t killed me yet, but I feel it's not far off. I live with a man who wants to kill me and I live in a home filled with invisible trip wires, anyone of them could finish me. I’m dancing on the cusp of darkness and all I wanna do is fall into its pits, to get it over with.”
I felt her scrunch the sheets in her fist, drawing them over my body to her side of the bed. I fight to remain still. Gracie-May needs the release, she needs to let the pain out, to know I'm not listening.
I felt the tears falling from her perfect face, silently hitting the sheets covering my body, falling to the soft flesh of my hand. I needed some damn mercy right now, help to be able to find a way for her to live without pain. She was living with a ghost who had once been a lover.
“Who has hurt you so bad, Gracie.” My voice was a soft splinter in the silence which was dancing in the room.
My eyes fluttered open and locked with hers.
“Most recently? You.”
The way she stared at me had slivers of glass slashing my heart.
“Gracie.”
