She didn’t move, nor make a sound. Her eyes were shut and my heart ached with each passing moment. At the back of my mind, I knew we needed to get her to help – and fast.
My ragged breathing was loud in my ears as I was reminded that those I loved could be hurt, bleed and be snatched from my fingertips.
I pushed to my feet, ignoring the pain and partly numb legs which felt heavy. The pain screaming from my body on now numb legs that feel heavy. This was not a time to think of myself.
Sweat dripped from my forehead as I stepped from the room, mixing with my tears and Gracie’s blood. When I emerged into the hallway, Brad’s eyes met mine and his body stiffened. I nodded, indicating Gracie was still alive but barely.
Tears slid like burning flames down my cheeks and I felt no shame.
Martha sensed the change in Brad and spun in his arms, despite his efforts to stop her.
“NO! NO! NO! NO!.” Her screams chilled me to the core.
She pushed herself free and moved to my side. “Gracie.” Her voice was barely a whisper. She caressed Gracie’s body with her fingertips.
Blood, there was so much fucking blood. Purple/black bruises, angry and intent on covering her body, seemed to form on the skin before our eyes.
Martha’s eyes met mine, ice meeting fear. I stepped past her to head from the house, to the car. Brad helped me down the steps, he sensed my pain and inner battle to make my legs work.
I collapsed into the back seat of the car with Gracie on my lap. Martha slid into the front and Brad gunned the engine. We headed to the one place I hoped could save her as it had me.
My life depended on this woman breathing. My life was nothing without her. She had become my world, I needed her to stay on my light side, away from the dark which coiled around me.
My blood ran cold as I watched her fading away from me. I pressed her firmly into me, clinging to her as I breathed into her hair “Please baby, you promised to stay, please.”
***
Her chest was rising, the room filled with the sounds of beeping from the machines keeping her alive. It haunted me and the sounds grated on my nerves. I was tired and sore, my body ached and burned in pain, but Gracie was foremost in my mind.
As much as I wanted her to wake from the coma right now, the doctors had said it was best for healing if she was kept in a coma for a while longer. I knew in my heart they were right but I needed her to wake up, then I would know she’d be okay. I stared at her body, not blinking, not wanting to look away and miss any movement that may come.
Her chest rising was the only sign of life which she gave me, every moment I watched broke my heart all over again. She was so still, dead still and it terrified me. Her hair was parted nicely on either side of her face and she looked like Snow White. But Snow White’s body wasn’t so twisted and fucked up that she couldn’t wake up.
I knew my Gracie-May would fight even though she was on life support.
I lowered to the side of the bed and gathered her hand.
“Do you know how fucking hard it is without you right now? Would you just fucking wake up, Gracie? Please, I need you to wake up. I love you and need you more than I’ve ever needed anyone. Please, Gracie, come back to me.” I wiped away the tears. I hate that I was feeling so fucking emotional, weak.
“I fucking love you, don’t you dare fucking die. Don’t you dare fucking leave me.” I kissed her cold forehead. As much as I didn’t want to leave her, I had to go to fucking physio. For the past forty-eight hours I haven’t left her bedside and physio is giving me grief about my muscles stiffening up.
Brad brought me a clean shirt so I was able to change out of the blood soaked one. The blood brought back so many memories of Ari and how I couldn’t save her. I have prayed that this time, I am able to save Gracie.
“I’ll be back this afternoon, beautiful. Physio is on my back and I need to get on my feet so I can take care of you when you wake up.”
***
I arrived at intensive care a little after four, feeling every inch of the pain from the physio.
She’d given me a hard time about missing my sessions and had seriously gone ballistic when she’d found out about me removing the boots.
I wasn’t very polite about it all but fuck it, Gracie was all I cared about now and if my actions hindered my recovery or caused more damage, I didn’t give a fuck. Nothing was more important than getting my little lady well again. Getting rid of the tubes, wires and machinery which were keeping her alive.
Pushing the door open, I froze instantly. My entire world spun out of control and the air was sucked from my lungs.
No bed.
The space where her bed had been was empty.
