His boots hit the floor as he moved, the vibration spreading through my body as he moved closely. I trembled in fear, knowing what he was capable of.
I cowered and curled into myself, his knee was thrust against my back and I yelled out in pain. His calloused hand wrapped around my neck and my face was pushed into the carpet. I panicked when I found myself barely able to breathe.
“You’re a liar, Gracie. You’ve been fucking him, haven’t you?”
Pain thundered through me. “Who?”
He pressed my face deeper into the carpet. “You know who Gracie, don’t play fucking stupid with me, bitch.”
My heart sank, how the fuck would he know about Kaden? Had he been following me? Surely not, he wasn’t that clever. “I don’t know who the hell you’re talking about, Ben, now get the fuck off me.”
He used the weight of his body to push me deeper into the floor. I felt as if my ribs were about to break under the pressure and I was being pushed through the floor boards.
“You and that fucking, Doctor Chris, I know you’re fucking him.” He spat into my ear and I scoffed at him.
“Huh? You have no idea how wrong you are.”
“I will kill you. You got that? I swear to God, if I ever see you with another man, I will kill him and then I will kill you.” His cold voice slithered over me.
I had never heard such venom from him. The carpet fibers dug into my cheek, my cheekbone sharing the pain with my flattened nose. Blood ran down my cheek and over my mouth caused by the pressure of my nose being slammed into the floor.
“You got that?” he shouted one last time, pushed down on me with his knee and stood back up.
I didn’t speak couldn’t so I nodded my head against the carpet.
After he released me, I remained still for a moment, trying to catch my breath. He walked away and I heard the thump as he dropped onto the couch. It was safe to drag my body up from the floor.
Pain gripped me with every slight movement and I struggled to stand on wobbly legs with a dizzy head. The room spun before my eyes and reaching out to steady myself, I used the wall to guide me into the kitchen where I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.
Ben cracked a can of beer open, even from where I stood in the kitchen, I recognised the sound. Fear crept over me at the thought of him getting drunk, knowing how much more violent he could become. How the fuck was I going to get out of the house and away from him?
I slunk down the hallway towards my bedroom, I needed a shower. Needed to clean up the mess of blood from my body.
Standing in my room, I studied my body in the mirror before gazing into my empty eyes. Where had the person I used to be gone? look deep into my eyes where have I gone? When had he finally beaten me from my soul? Was it the second, third, fourth or tenth beating my body succumbed to?
I lifted my shirt slowly over my bruised body, the cotton pulled at the drying blood on my back. My mama always said there was love out there for everyone, I assumed Ben was it. He’d been the guy who’d bought me a beer at a bar downtown and said I was a “pretty good-looking chick.”
Now my mind questions, was that all I was in Ben’s eyes? Now, power, malice and hatred were his drug of choice, it was no longer me. The revulsion lit up inside him with a fire like glow that burned out in his rage filled eyes.
Bruises replaced your kisses, scratches replaced your compliments, broken nails and bashed eyes were now my weekly attire.
Bloody tears replaced my smiles. Was this punishment for remaining quiet, for making excuses, insisting it was an accident – he didn’t mean to crack my skull, split my lips, crack my ribs and blacken my face? How much longer could I blame the war, the war-torn nightmares and the pain of losing not only himself, but a limb.
“You fucking whore!” His hands whipped to the sides of my face, his fingers digging into the flesh.
I hadn’t even heard him enter my room or approach. He took me by surprise and I swear my heart stopped. His face was so close, it blurred my vision. Lowering his head, he ran his nose along my neck, breathing me in. A sickening feeling rolled in the pit of my stomach.
“You smell like sex and lies.” His tone was harsh, bitter.
He pushed me away before pulling me against him hard, my body swung like a ragdoll in his hands. I shivered when he licked his tongue over my face.
“Mmm, definitely sex, you have that just fucked glow. Don’t try to deny it, your eyes scream guilt. You dirty fucking bitch.”
I struggled against him, trying to push free of his hold. My cheeks were burning with pain and my jaw felt like it would crack at any moment under the pressure. “Ben,” I pleaded.
My breathing became choppy and I doubled over with pain when Ben’s fist connected with my stomach. My eyes locked with his.
“Slut.” He spat before pushing me backwards with force.
