Tyler and Matt reached the table and slipped into either side of the booth, Tyler next to her and Matt next to Gemma.
Tyler must have filled him in on all the details because he looked a little uncomfortable as he extended his hand. “Hi. I’m Matthew.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Matthew. I’m Gemma. This is Neil.”
“Two more beers,” Neil called out as a waiter walked past the table. “So, Matthew, tell us more about yourself.”
“Uh…what do you wanna know?”
Tyler leaned his head closer to hers. “You look incredible tonight,” he whispered in her ear. His warm breath on her skin caused tingles all over her body and she felt her face heat up. He placed a subtle kiss on her cheek and turned his attention back to the conversation.
“Like what are your hobbies?” Neil asked. “What do you do for fun? What’s your take on threesomes?”
Jordan giggled as the discomfort on Matt’s face turned into something a little more panicked. She heard Tyler chuckle beside her too. They both remained quiet though, allowing Matthew’s initiation into the group to continue.
“Well…I like being outdoors…rowing and hiking…and I’ve never really given threesomes much thought.”
“You should…Give it considerable thought. I need to learn to have sex with Gemma and I think you could be a good buffer in the learning process.”
Jordan read the very confused expression on his face and decided to fill him in. “Oh, Neil and Gemma just made a pact that they would get married at thirty-five if they’re both still single.”
“Great pact,” Matt said with a laugh. “I feel honored that you guys would think of me as a suitable buffer. Just one little problem, though. I could be married by thirty-five.”
Matthew certainly warmed up to them a lot quicker than Tyler. His easy-going attitude seemed to click with their offensive sense of humor.
“New pact,” Gemma declared. “Ifallof us are not married by thirty-five, Matthew shall be Neil’s muff-diving coach…Yes…That could work.”
Tyler coughed out a laugh and Matt started looking very much like a tomato with a flush going all the way down his neck.
“You sure you don’t want to get to know me first?” he asked Gemma. “We sorta just met.”
“I don’t need to know you. It will be more of an advisory sort of relationship. Think of yourself as a consultant.”
“A…muff-diving…consultant?” Matthew looked over at Tyler with a look of utter disbelief, shaking his head at the sheer absurdity of the conversation. Yes, Gemma and Neil were definitely not the type of people they were used to.
Gemma nodded and Matt smiled back at her. “What exactly do I get out of this?”
“You get the joy of knowing that you have selflessly saved a couple from a completely sexless relationship.”
He looked over at Tyler again. “I love getting paid in joy…especially when it’s my own joy. I think it’s something we should try implementing at the company.”
“What a great idea, Matt,” Tyler conceded. “The employees would be thrilled.”
“I wouldn’t,” Jordan said immediately.
“That’s ’cause you’re fussy, Jordan,” Tyler quipped. “And you’re not really seeing the beauty in it. Look, I agree it might be a tad ridiculous to go to the bank and say: Hey, here’s some joy. Can I use it to settle my mortgage?” He tried to keep a straight face, but the laughter bubbled out of him. “But that’s the only downside. Just imagine walking around with a pocketful of joy. The world would be such a great place.” Heturned to face Gemma on the other side of the table. “I think you’re onto something. If we throw in some gumballs, it could be revolutionary. I can’t wait for the idea to catch on. That’s how true wealth should be measured if you ask me.”
Jordan smiled as she watched him. They all looked so comfortable she had a hard time believing his first real interaction with them was only yesterday.
“Thank you, Tyler,” Gemma said, feigning humble gratitude as she pressed her hand to her heart. “Thank you for believing in my innovative new method of payment. You too, Matt.”
“Okay,” Neil said, “so now that we’ve mapped out the future, Gem and I getting married, Matt as our muff-diving consultant and the entire economy running on joy and gumballs, let’s get back to the present.” He slammed a fist on the table. “More beer!”
As more drinks were drunk, the maturity level of the conversation only regressed. After a few hours, the table was cluttered with empty beer bottles and shot glasses. Stetsons had been removed. Words were starting to slur. Faces were turning red. And the laughter only became louder and more boisterous.
“This is what I wanna know,” Gemma said unsteadily. “Why did we need to learn history at school? It doesn’t make a difference to anyone’s life. It’s pointless.”
“I guess you have to know where you’re going in order to know where you’ve been.”
